26, of Newport and Atkinson, Maine; assigned to 12th Combat Aviation Brigade, Ansbach-Katterbach, Germany; died May 28, 2012 in Kabul, Afghanistan, of wounds sustained when his AH-64 Apache helicopter was shot down from enemy fire. Also killed was Army Chief Warrant Officer Five John C. Pratt.
To honor CPT John R. Brainard III, his godparents, Mrs. Nancy White and Mr. Whitey White talk about the stone they donated to TSP to uniquely represent Jay.
This smooth, brown, two toned stone was actually hand selected by Jay when he was 11 y/o. He found it in a cold stream flowing into Moxie pond in Caratunk, ME. Jay loved canoeing, swimming and camping on an island on Moxie. The three of us spent more than one Fourth of July on the island celebrating our Nations’ Independence. We brought this stone home and placed it on a stump in our flower garden where it resided until we decided to share it with TSP supporters who would carry it in Honor and Remembrance of our beloved Jay.
The following piece by WABI Bangor shares Jay’s story and how much it means to Jay’s family for him to be honored and remembered by all who carry his stone.
Also to honor CPT John R. Brainard III, his wife, Ms. Emily Brainard also donated a stone to honor her husband. Here is what Emily wrote —
My name is Emily Brainard and I am donating this stone to The Summit
Project in memory of my late husband, CPT Jay Brainard. I found this
stone in Bavaria, Germany, the last place Jay called “home” before he
deployed to Afghanistan on April 30, 2012, and was killed in action on
May 28, 2012. I still live and work here in Germany and wanted a way
to contribute to The Summit Project from far away. I am extremely
grateful for the volunteer who will eventually carry the stone to the
top of Mount Katahdin, because that was one of Jay’s favorite places
in Maine. Jay was born and raised in Maine and loved the outdoors.
Hiking was one of his favorite things, and he climbed Mount Katahdin
many times. Jay took me on our first hiking trip there together in
2006. I remember when he took me across Knife’s Edge, I was afraid of
heights and wanted to quit at one particularly narrow point with a
sheer drop off on either side. He said something along the lines of,
“you can do this right now, or you can sit there and wait until a
helicopter comes to pick you up. But you’ve got this.” And that was
Jay – always pushing people out of their comfort zone, while believing
in them and helping them along the way.
Jay and I met on September 4, 2005. I was 18 and he was 20. We met at
a bowling alley, where we were both hanging out with friends, and
instantly clicked. We dated throughout college and got married on
December 22, 2008, a few weeks before he started flight school at Fort
Rucker, Alabama. Jay loved serving in the Army, being a soldier,
leading other soldiers, and flying helicopters. He overcame a lot of
personal and family struggles to reach his goals and become an Army
officer and Apache helicopter pilot. He told me he felt that his
purpose on this earth was to serve his country and help other people.
He did just that, and he did it well. Jay worked hard but he also
played hard too. He enjoyed biking, camping, running, traveling, and
any time he could spend outside. He could be very serious at times,
but was really a big goof ball at heart. He loved playing pranks on
his friends and I. He was also one of the most dedicated and driven
people I’ve ever known – if Jay set his mind to something, he was
going to finish it.
I am truly thankful for the over six and a half years Jay and I shared
together. He was my best friend and helped make me the person I am
today. He taught me to never give up, to always go after my dreams, to
be happy and appreciate the little things in life, and to keep on
living and do the best I can each and every day. Jay, you are loved,
missed, and never forgotten!
These pictures were taken over the years between Emily and John. She wrote —
Our last military ball, his promotion ceremony to Captain, and the skydiving trip he took me on right before he deployed. The one of him in front of the helicopter was taken in Afghanistan, during his deployment, shortly before he was KIA. The one of us on top of the mountain and all bundled up was taken in 2006, when we hiked Mount Katahdin together. The others are of me with the stone, and the stone with his flag, the one that he came home with from Afghanistan and that draped his coffin for his funeral.
Speaking of the stone — Here is why Emily chose that stone and what it says about Jay. Emily wrote —
I chose that particular rock because it was the only decent sized one I could find in this area. I live in the middle of farming community Bavaria, and so most of the medium/big sized rocks have been cleared away from the fields. WHERE I found it however is what makes it special. Throughout the fields, there are lots of farmers trails, which connect in between all the little towns around here. In addition to the trails being useful for the famers, they are also wonderful walking/biking/running trails. I use them all the time to workout on now, but I didn’t used to. Jay was always the runner of the family, and I avoided running like the plague! After Jay was killed in action, I was in a bad place — deep in grief, not eating, not sleeping, just barely functioning. After a few months, I decided I needed to find a way to pull myself out of this funk and to make meaning out of my life again. I remembered how much Jay enjoyed running, and how it helped him relax, so I figured I’d give it a try. I had also never ran more than 3 or 4 miles in my life, so I figured it would be a challenge. Maybe I could take on something even harder than grieving. So I started running. I found out it wasn’t as difficult as losing Jay, but it sure was a challenge! I signed up for the Paris Half Marathon at a friend’s suggestion, and trained for it in about 5 months. I went from “not a runner” to a half marathoner. I found the organization Wear Blue: Run to Remember, and starting using running as a memorial to Jay’s memory and a way to get my life back to a new kind of normal. Running was the first thing that made me feel happy again after losing Jay, and helped me open up my heart to finding so much happiness since. I did (and still do) most of my running and training on these local trails, where I found this rock. These trails are where I do a lot of thinking, a lot of grief work, and a lot of just relaxing, depending on whatever I need that day, and so that’s why I went out there when I was looking for the right stone to donate to TSP. I found this one large rock alongside one trail — after hunting around and only finding tiny rocks and pebbles for so long — so I knew it was the right one. Like I said, Germany was also Jay’s last “home” before he deployed, so I think it’s fitting he has rocks from Maine (his original home) and Germany. I hope that whoever carries the rock can sense the memories and the healing that are part of Jay’s and my story. He would be so happy to know that this project is going on, because he loved hiking!
91 Comments
Beautiful memories of Jay!
I miss you Daddy, I want you
Good afternoon Mr & Mrs White,
My name is Stephan Murphy and I reside in Kingston, MA. I had the privilege and honor of carrying/care taking John’s stone June 20, 2014 on a GORUCK Challenge in Portland Maine. I first would like to say how much it meant to me to be able to carry Jon’s stone that evening. Before I made the trip to Portland I had printed a picture of the stone and fixed it in the middle of my cars console. I thought of John and how John as you both described took great pride in everything he did and how he was so humble and the fact that the stone I was going to carry was picked up and handled by John while he was on a hunting trip some time ago. As I drove I’d look at that picture and think of the sacrifice John made.
When I arrived in Portland and the team was beginning to gather at our designated location we talked about the stones and the Summit Project. It was great to see the faces of the people who had never heard of the Summit Project and that on this ruck our team weight was not only going to be John’s stone but other stones of fallen soldiers. You could sense that they knew how meaningful this team weight was.
Soon our Cadre for the Challenge arrived, we went though what expectations were going to be, essential gear, etc. Then, our Cadre said one thing that stood with me the entire Challenge. He said “Tonight, there’s a Mother or Father that would give anything to have their Son or Daughter to be where you are standing right now”. That one sentence said it all. Throughout the Challenge as we labored through tasks, put into situations that were “uncomfortable”, fought demons in our heads, the constant thought with me was John’s stone and no matter what, his memory would not be tarnished by giving up and/or letting up and giving 100% of everything I had to give to my team.
The next morning as our Challenge was coming to a close our Cadre informed us that we had mile and a half left. As a team we pushed ourselves beyond what anyone would have expected after 13.5 hours and 15+ miles. I’m happy to say that during that last 1/2 mile I had John’s stone and all the others strapped to my ruck on my back all the way to the end.
I have at my desk here at work various family pictures, kids drawings etc, but also I have 2 other pictures. Those pictures are of stones I carried. I look at them everyday and they remind me of the freedoms I have. They remind me of the sacrifices others have made for me and my family, my country.
Mr & Mrs White, it was an honor to carry John’s stone. May God bless you and the many Men and Women who keep us safe.
Sincerely,
Stephan M Murphy.
Kingston, MA.
Cherie Sackville wrote – At the end of June we planned for our annual family hike to the White Mountains in New Hampshire. We have been doing a different hike in the Whites for the past four years. We have been working our way up to doing Mt. Washington and this was the year we thought we would attempt it. We usually go for two nights in the AMC huts and hike for three days.
After learning about The Summit Project, I could not stop thinking about it and what the project truly means. It is truly a tangible and living way to honor our fallen Maine heroes. It can help the people of Maine and all Americans connect with our military and their families in a very personal and meaningful way.
I learned about The Summit Project through a Facebook post from my friend, Noah Hudson who is a friend of David Cote. The more I read about it, the more I wanted to know. Reading through the bios of our fallen was heartbreaking and truly touched my heart. I kept having thoughts of my own family living with the sacrifice so many Maine and American families are living with every day. We have had relatives and friends who have served and are serving now but we have not experienced the loss of one of them in the line of duty.
In March I was able to attend the dedication of The Summit Project display room at the MEPS building in Portland. There I met David for the first time and also some of the families of the fallen. It was a very beautiful and dignified ceremony. The room was carefully planned to display the stones. I could really see the vision for the project after attending this event and I wanted to help teach others about it. I also attended the inaugural hike at Baxter on Memorial Day weekend. I was not a hiker but I wanted to be there to show my support. While I was there for the weekend with Alden, Jade and Noah Hudson, I met Nancy and Whitey White and Jay’s brother, Ben. We ate dinner at the same table the last night. It was an honor to meet them and learn about Jay. After meeting them, I wanted to know more about Jay and what he liked to do. We already had our family hike planned so I thought it would make our trip more special if we carried the stones with us up to Mount Washington.
On June 29, my sister Debbie and my niece Greta, drove up from NJ to start our get away. My daughter Caitlin and I met them at the Mount Washington Resort in Bretton Woods. We stayed there one night and left on our hike the next morning. We took the stones of
Captain John “Jay” Brainard III, Sgt. Joshua J. Kirk and Captain Daniel J. Tranchemontagne. We gave the stones a spot of honor in our room to help us get thinking of the days ahead and of their hard work and sacrifice to our country. We also took them to deck of the hotel facing the mountains for a few pictures. There were other guests there that were probably wondering what we were doing but did not ask or intrude. I was ready with Dave’s business cards! We also took “The Boys” to the porch for a celebratory drink.
I hope to think they would have approved of this and we were honored to have them with us.
The next morning, I was up at 5:30 am to watch the sunrise on the deck. No one else was up and I was enjoying my tea and knitting in the cool of the morning. I loved looking at the mountains and thinking how by nightfall that I would be sleeping up there and looking down to where I was now. Being at the Mount Washington hotel was a real treat for me and on my bucket list. The nights stay was my Mother’s Day gift from my husband. It was proving to be a truly glorious day in the Whites (warm, sunny and no rain in the forecast). I just love the mountains and I know from Nancy White, Jay’s aunt, that Jay loved being outdoors all the time. He was an avid hiker and outdoorsman. I was mentally ready to do this even though I knew it would be a real physical challenge for me at 52. Our plan was to hike up Valley Way to Madison Spring Hut and spend the night. I was looking forward to getting to the hut and meeting all the other hikers and croo and hopefully sharing The Summit Project with them.
The day was hot and humid. My daughter and niece left my sister and I in the trail dust. It was great for the two girls to hike together. They don’t get to spend much time together since we live so far apart from each other. My niece had never backpacked before and this was her college graduation present from us. She was excited to try it and was also willing to carry one of the stones. My sister and I struggled up the mountain and made slow going of it. We had all day so we took our time. Dinner was at 6, so that was our goal. About midway up, the woods was very quiet except for the most beautiful bird calling. It called for a very long time. It was justing singing its heart out. It was a happy sound. I kept thinking of Jay and how that must be him with us encouraging us at every step. Before our hike I had contacted Nancy and asked her to tell me some stories about Jay. She told me about how he loved hiking and being in the woods. She also sent a picture of Jay on a hike in Baxter State Park. For Jay being in the woods was truly cathartic. I feel the same way about hiking and spending time in the woods and listening to the wind, water and animal sounds. It brings me peace. As I write this now I can hear two owls calling to each other outside my window.
When we were about a half a mile below the hut, we were almost out of water. My pack was very heavy since I carried lots of extra food, a sleeping bag and wine in a plastic pouch swinging from the back of my pack. (We saw other hikers enjoying some wine at the hut on our first trip and thought it was a great idea). My sister also had some wine in plastic refillable pouches. As we rested, I made a comment about how Jesus turned water into wine and maybe we would have our own miracle and have the wine turn into water. We laughed but knew it was highly unlikely. Debbie was getting fatigued and I was worried about her being dehydrated. As we started up the trail, I literally went two steps and looked to my left and found a full bottle of water under a tree! Earlier a group had passed us and we thought maybe it might have fallen out of one of their packs. My sister was so delighted and hurried up to grab the bottle. She had to climb over a splintered stump to get it but she got it all the same. We were so excited and thankful to get it. We felt like Jay and Joshua were with us and watching over us as we hiked. I got goosebumps! We were so encouraged by finding the water that it helped us continue.
When the going got tough, I kept thinking of how young and brave Jay was. He must have had moments during his training that he was scared and missed his family but he persevered and became a helicopter pilot. I tried to put myself in his shoes as he was transported to the Middle East. How different the climate and terrain is from what we enjoy in Maine and New Hampshire. These thoughts helped me keep my focus on something other than my own self-induced and very temporary suffering. Nancy also shared with me that Jay liked to run ahead of people on the trail and would hide behind a tree and pop out unexpectedly. I found myself wishing he would be there to make me laugh and encourage us up the mountain. Nancy also said Jay was always well prepared for any hiking trip. I think we are kindred spirits. My husband always teases me and says that no one starves when they are with me. I always have brought plenty of snacks and drinks on any outing we go on. This trip was no exception. I had too much and I knew it. I couldn’t wait to get to the top and hopefully unload some of it with the hut croo.
We finally made it to the hut. It had taken us longer than what the guide book had said but that was normal for us. Caitlin and Greta had gotten to the hut at least an hour before us and were all settled into their bunks and enjoying cousin time. My bunk was wonderfully cozy with a big window next to my bed. Madison Spring Hut is one of the oldest huts in the system and has been completely rebuilt and updated. From my bunk I had a beautiful view of Mt. Adams. I unpacked my bag and set Jay’s stone on the windowsill. It was wonderful to have made it and to have a part of him with me.
Before dinner, we went to the dining area to snack on the bounty we had brought up. We also brought the stones with us and set them on display at the end of the table. I know several people were curious but were hesitant to ask. I knew we would have time to share about The Summit Project later. When dinner was served, I asked the hutmaster, Megan, if I could share about the project. I gave her a brief overview and she was very happy to let me share the story with the other guests. After dinner in the hut while the croo is cleaning up is a time when people just hang out, play cards, read, plan the next days hike and visit with each other. I made a small display at the end of our table with the stones, patch, the business cards and the bios. Several people came over to talk to us about The Summit Project, took business cards and read the other information we had with us. No one had heard of The Summit Project and they were very interested in finding out more. I also directed them to the Facebook page. They thought it was a wonderful thing that we were doing to honor our Maine soldiers. I am the one who feels honored to have had someone fight for my freedom.
When it was time to settle down for the night, I took Jay’s stone out watch the sunset on the last day of June 2014. I could not think of a better way to say goodbye to June. I was tired and sore but was looking forward to the next day. I was enjoying spending time with my sister, daughter and niece. It was great to be away from electronics. (We did find one rock not far from the hut that had a metal rod in it where we could get cell service!) I put Jay’s stone back on the windowsill and had a hard time falling asleep. The view was beautiful with the mountain and all the stars. The night was clear and cool. Later in the night I turned to look out and saw two, big bright stars in line with each other just above Mt. Adams. There was also another bright star off to the right and above the other two. I could not help but think that they might have been the stars of Jay, Joshua and Daniel. I looked and thought of them for a long time. I prayed for them and their families and was grateful to have made a connection to them. I thanked them for their service and ultimate sacrifice and felt very sad that I would never know these wonderful, selfless people who gave their all for people they do not even know. I am so humbled and changed by this project.
The next day dawned just as beautiful as the day before. We really lucked out with the weather! After breakfast we headed to Mount Washington via the Gulfside Trail. We had heard from hikers who had come that way the day before that there were so many rocks on the trail. Our plan was to summit Washington and then head to Lakes of the Clouds hut for the night. Then the next day we were then going to hike across Crawford Path and down Edmunds Path where we had a car parked. I had never seen so many rocks or hiked for that long over so many. It was only another thousand feet of elevation to go and six miles. We didn’t think it would take that long. We were wrong. It was hot and there wasn’t any shade on the open summits. We did buy extra water bottles at the hut and unloaded the wine, cheese and cookies with the hut croo!
About midday, we were all getting very tired. I was last in the group. I struggled to keep up. When I hike, I like to stop and look at the views. I also like to look back at where I had just been and enjoy the scenery. I couldn’t do that without losing sight of the rest of the group. My daughter did all the summits along the way. Not an option for us if we wanted to make it to Lakes by dinner. After resting and having a snack, we decided to change our plan and try to take the Cog Railway down and head back to the Mount Washington hotel. The weather was going to change the following day and we did not want to get stuck on the open summits in a thunderstorm. We were all sore and a few minor injuries. My niece was also having trouble descending since she has trouble with depth perception going down. I wanted it to be a somewhat fun experience for her, so I agreed to the change. Luckily we were able to get cell service and found out that the last train down the mountain was at 4:15. We would have to hustle if we were going to make it.
The last mile to Mount Washington was a real struggle. Before our hike, I had given everyone a small American flag to put on their pack. Somewhere over Mount Washington I lost my flag. The wind was kicking up in the afternoon. I was sad that I had lost it but hoping someone else might find it. I was proud to carry it. I love the flag and like to teach our students at school good flag etiquette. Nancy also told me that Jay loved the flag and took it upon himself to go to local schools and teach kids about the flag and good flag etiquette. We would have gotten along well! I kept Jay in my mind and my heart. I kept thinking of him and how he must have struggled in his military training. I imagined him at basic training, his first post, helicopter training and what it must have been like to go to Afghanistan. I remember from Nancy that she said Jay was not a quitter and finished everything he started even if he did not want to. I kept that in mind as I stumbled up the mountain and tried to keep up with my family. Greta really wanted to get to the train so she was really hustling! I could only go as fast as I could go which wasn’t very fast. I am also afraid of heights and being near the edge of anything that drops off. My sister really helped me when we were near the edge of cliffs. Sometimes I really wonder why I put myself in these places but after I am through the tough stuff you get a real feeling of accomplishment. I tried to be brave and keep my mind on Jay. I know he really gave me the strength to get me to the top. It really helped me to focus on him, his life, his family and friends and their daily struggle of not having him around anymore. Thinking of those things took my mind off of me and my temporary situation.
It was so gratifying to finally make it to the top of Mount Washington! We took pictures at the summit and looked all around. I had not been there in over twenty years. I was proud to take Jay’s stone out and put it on the summit marker. It was truly the highlight of my summer and a favorite lifetime memory. It was more than a hike. Making it a living memorial to someone else’s memory gave the whole experience a deeper meaning. I feel truly changed by it and hope to take other stones on challenging trips. I also hope to help encourage others to take some of The Summit Project stones on a living memorial trip.
Thank you to Nancy and Whitey White and Ben for sharing your stories of Jay with me.
Thank you to David Cote for having such a vision to get The Summit Project off the ground.
Most sincerely,
Cherie Sackville
Scarborough, Maine
How do we challenge the living to remember the fallen Heroes? Climbing to new heights on Mountains that loom above us is how The Summit Project embraces that challenge.
I concentrated on the challenge that loomed above that special young soldier, Capt. Jay Brainard when he chose to enter the Army as an Apache helicopter pilot. Challenges that required a clear mind, an adventurous spirit, and the courage that I could never imagine… how could I compare his courage to face death in a hostile country to my small token of courage to climb a mountain in the safety of my beautiful State of Maine. I know I desire to show my sincere appreciation to this wonderful American, but how can I? It’s taken me some extended thought to come to the realization that this project doesn’t ever expect us to climb in safety and feel their courage. I believe the project challenges us to face the families of the fallen and live the promise that we will never forget the sacrifice of the fallen and the families. That the climb is but the vehicle that brings strangers together to publicly proclaim to the world that each soldier’s life matters and that the ultimate sacrifice each hero made for us is appreciated.
For me, courage comes in the ability to look into the faces of the families who lost a special member. These families live each day with a hole in their chest where their heart once resided, now symbolically replaced with a stone carved with initials and dates. The date is the moment their world change forever and their challenge began. To face each moment, each day, and all the strangers who want to console them in their inconsolable situation must require strength that I cannot imagine because I haven’t had to live that. I was truly honored to carry the stone of Capt. Jay because his courage became my courage when I faced his family and pledged my living presence to speak his name and tell his story. I was compelled to connect with those on my team as we climbed to say “let me tell you about this fine brave man whose stone I humbly carry”
Thank you Whitey and Nancy, for your courage and conviction to be part of this living memorial. Thank you for your kindness to me and the connection we have made. Your Jay will forever be in my heart and on my mind. I pledge to continue to tell people I meet about your fine American Hero.
Thank you Robin Pare Beautifully written. This means so much to our family.Thank you for honoring our fallen heroes. Jays uncle Dave.
Emily,
I simply love the stone you found and sent to The Summit Project to represent Jay. I love thinking about the journey and how many people touched this stone while it was on it’s way to TSP and finally the engraver.
This stone was always unique, even as it laid in the field where you found it. How many others have touched this stone before? Was this a farming kid’s favorite stone? Was this stone moved so the farmer could plant food which has been growing and feeding families for years and years?
Now the stone has been engraved. It has been marked and will always be known as Jay’s Stone. We all treat these Stones as more than just a rock. These Stones have taken on a life of their own. They don’t speak to us in a conventional conversation, but they speak to us. From the first time I held Jay’s Stone, I knew there was a connection. It was heavy, rough and smooth at the same time, and it had a beautiful color. I felt the entire stone and traced the engraving.
I had the honor and pleasure of presenting Jay to Nancy and Whitey. The emotions of that instant will be with me forever. The love in their eyes was evident. The way Nancy held the Stone solidified the choice you made in his Stone.
As we hiked, the Stone would shift around, that was Jay ‘speaking’ to me. Reminding me to take in the beauty or to go check on the rest of group, as I am sure he would. We had some private time here and there on the trail, and I felt like I was there with a buddy.
We reached the summit just in time for the rain to pick up a bit. I laid my jacket under the Flag, which we laid at the summit in honor of these Soldiers. As I stood there in the rain, I remember thinking I should be much colder than I am. It was not until we done with our ceremony to honor Jay and the others that I finally began to feel the cold. I am sure Jay and each and every one of the others were there to keep me warm.
Once back down at base camp I returned Jay’s Stone to Nancy and Whitey, where they placed it on the table with all of Jay’s brother and sisters. I like to think of all the Stones telling each other stories of the trail they were on and how each of their trips was better than the other’s.
Jay’s Stone has touched one more person and will continue to touch others long after we are gone. We cannot quantify how his Stone will affect others and make our community stronger, but know that it will.
Thank you for allowing us to share in Jay’s memory and to create new memories as we honor his Service and Sacrifice for our freedoms.
Dear family of John Brainard,
I’m so sorry for your loss. I’ve read about John and he seems like a very kind person. Plenty of my family have gone war or are still in it. I can’t even imagine if one of my family members got killed in war. Right now my sisters boyfriend is in boot camp for the navy. He is such a nice, generous person. It scares me to think about what could happen when he goes to war because anything can happen when he’s out there. Before the summit project, my perspective of war and what happens in war was very different. Now that I’ve read about what soldiers go through and watched documentaries, I see how the outcome sometimes is tragic and how much it impacts the families of the soldiers. I have a whole new respect for soldiers and veterans everywhere. It was an honor to carry his rock up Bradbury mountain. Thank you for sharing his story.
Respectfully,
Matt Grenier
Thanks Matt. Much appreciated by our whole family.
Jays Uncle Dave
The Summit Project was a very emotional project and a great experience for me. As a German citizen I am very thankful having had the possibility to participate in the Summit Project and to honor fallen Maine heroes. Through that project I learned a lot about America, patriotism, loyalty and the importance of the army. But this project wasn’t only about learning something about your culture and country, I also learned a lot about John “Jay” R. Brainard III. a fallen Maine soldier who was assigned to the 12th Combat Aviation Brigade, Ansbach-Katterbach, Germany and died May 28, 2012 in Kabul, Afghanistan, of wounds sustained when his AH-64 Apache helicopter was shot down. I have chosen his stone because he was assigned to Germany and his wife is still living there. She also sent his stone from woods in Bavaria which is very close to where I live. I felt connected to him since I read his bio on the Summit Project website the first time. The more I learned about him, the more I became conscious of my mission I have to do here. I want to share peace in this world and I want to help people. Wars aren’t fair at all and I hope that we can improve international relations to the point, so that one day even the thoughts of the military will be unnecessary. When I saw the stones in the early morning of October, 12th I couldn’t realize that the time had already passed by so fast. I felt that it starts to get serious. And I saw Jay’s huge stone. It was bigger than I expected it to be. I didn’t know how to carry it the whole way, I could barely lift it with my hands. And then as we drove to Pleasant Mountain my thoughts turned just around him and how his life could have been if he would be still among us. The hike itself was more exhausting than I expected it to be. As my stone was about 15 pounds heavy it felt heavier and heavier with every step I went. Almost at the top I had the feeling that I was really carrying somebody on my back. Carrying the stone I thought a lot about him. I read that Jay loved hiking and that he climbed Mount Katahdin many times. I imagined him being here on this hike, right next to me, hiking and encouraging me not to stop, but to go on and not even to spent any thoughts on giving up. My condition is not the best, but with the breaks we did the hike was definitely doable. On the way up I had the opportunity to talk to Ted and I told him that one reason why I chose that Academy is that the Summit Project makes your community here stronger. But with me participating our communities all over the world get connected and grow together. International relations will be involved in my future career, maybe I become an ambassador, I don’t know so far. But I definitely want to work together with people and to help people, because if everybody helps a little bit, we can improve our daily lives. My hope is that one day, we don’t have wars in this world and we can just live together in peace with everybody. Hiking together with a large group all being on the same mission was fantastic for me, because it confirmed that there are also other people that care and I felt proud of being part of this group. Emerging the summit I was so happy that I completed the difficult part of the hike and I was very happy to finally be there. But then the ceremony started and the air was full of tension and feelings. Speaking about Jay’s life I thought about my family members that participated in both World Wars and died during that horrible time. I thought that nobody will ever start such a comparable project in Germany and I wanted to start such a project for my hometown right tomorrow. I was very emotional and I imagined how Jay connected our two countries. Serving and living in Germany he connected our countries, and being on the top I could see him together with his wife Emily in his arms. I didn’t want to imagine how she must have felt when she heard the news about his death. I had tears in my eyes and when Bailey’s dad said some very smart words about how all this made our community here in Maine stronger, that gave me the rest. I was very touched by his words and I felt very small and unimportant right now. These people died for their country and I made the decision that I also want to die for something important, something with a purpose. On my way down I was very quiet and at the beginning the whole group was very silent, but going down I felt easier and also the stone on my back felt easier and easier. I don’t know what I expected this experience to be like. Definitely not that emotional. I thought as I am not an American I could never feel any connection to the militia, soldiers or the country, but actually I was very emotional, felt very connected and felt a lot of tension.
After the hike on sunday I received an answer to an email I sent his godparents and I couldn’t stop crying. She wrote me about Jay, his character and life and also asked for a picture of me with his stone. I couldn’t imagine how hard it has to be to loose somebody. But on the other side I think the families appreciate this projects a lot and can be happy about how many people care about their children, grandchildren, nephews and friends.
During the presentation on October, 20th it felt like if I would go again on the hike. The air bursted of tension, I had to cry when I saw the family member of the fallen. It has to be so difficult to go through this process so many times, but I am so thankful that we honor these people.
The involvement of the Summit Project changed me a lot. It showed me how important the militia is here and I got to know the American culture. It was a very touching as well as worthy project and I encourage everybody to also be part of it.
Thank you Michelle. My family appreciates you. Jays Uncle Dave.
Dear Family of John R. Brainard III
My name is Gage, I go to Edward Little High School I had the privilege to take Jay’s stone up to the top of Bradbury Mountain on November 14, 2014. I want thank Jay for his bravery and sacrifice. It was a great experience to bring his stone up the mountain. It was a cold snowy day my feet where drenched and cold from a little hike up a small mountain. I could never imagine the thing and obstacles that Jay had to endure during his service. My Great Grandfather was in World War Two he was a B-17 Gunner he did 25 missions. It was a different war obviously, but the requisite bravery was the same. It had a bigger effect on my Father and Grandfather.
Thank you Gage for your time to Honor Jay. Our family is very proud and impressed that a young man in High School would Honor Jay and know the sacrifice made for this country he loved
Jays Uncle Dave
On March 18, 2015, Kyle Hurst wrote:
To John’s family, friends, and those who knew him best,
First off, I’ll get the introduction out of the way. My name is Kyle Hurst. I’m currently a sophomore Criminology major at the University of Southern Maine. I’d like to start by saying how honored I am to have been blessed with this incredibly humbling experience. I’m beyond thankful to be the individual who, on March 6th, had the privilege of carrying Jay’s stone throughout Portland and got the chance to share the story of his sacrifice, his valor, and some of the fond memories that still resonate with those who knew him best. Unfortunately, I never got the chance to meet Captain Brainard III. But, I do know for sure that he would have greeted me with a firm handshake and a sincere smile.
On Friday, March 6th at 0700, myself and many other stone carriers and volunteers began our six-mile trek throughout Portland. People of all different shapes, sizes, ethnicities, age, and social backgrounds started the day as a motley crew of compete strangers, but ended that day feeling like a family. As we marched throughout Portland, small talk ensued amongst the marchers and people waved and beeped in support, not really knowing what it was that we were marching for. Some people stopped to inquire, and after we told them what The Summit project was all about, they all had very similar reactions. It was evident that they were proud to be Mainers, and furthermore, proud to live in a state with one of the highest veteran populations in the entire nation. I recall one gentlemen pulled over in his big ol’ Ford F250; after I briefly explained to him TSP’s mission, he said, “Ya’ll are doing a good thing out here today. This needs to happen more often.” I agree. I regret to admit that until I was offered an opportunity to get involved with TSP by a fellow student, I had not heard about TSP. But after this whole experience, it’s my goal to spread the word and get more people involved.
As I walked, I recall thinking about Jay and his sacrifice as I looked out over the bay while the sun glistened on the water. It’s moments like these that one realizes how important it is to slow down and appreciate the beauty of being alive. The little things in life that we take for granted on a daily basis. The freedom that a vast majority of Americans feel so entitled to. In reality, it’s the brave men and women like Captain Brainard who allow us to live so comfortably here on the home front. It’s an experience that I cannot possibly describe by typing words on a laptop. I hope to one day meet those of you who knew Jay personally, so that I can look you in the eyes and thank you for your courage and strength throughout this ordeal.
As an ROTC cadet myself, the connections I made as I researched Jay and his legacy were extremely powerful. I have friends that currently attend the University of Maine and also participate in the ROTC program as did Jay. I can’t tell you how much I think about my future military career and how much I stress about becoming an officer in just two years time. As you know, the stereotypes and stigmas surrounding Commissioned officers aren’t exactly comforting. However, reading about Captain Brainard’s success as an Apache fighter pilot, his leadership style, his willingness to serve and help others, and his overall outlook on life is truly inspiring. Captain Brainard is exactly the officer I hope to be one day (Although, I will never be able to fly a chopper). I watched a video of Emily and Jay skydiving, and I couldn’t help but smile the entire time. I’ll never forget the look on Jay’s face as he smiled ear to ear and laid a fat kiss on her cheek in the beginning of the video. I’ve encountered countless vets and currently enlisted soldiers, and their attitudes vary significantly. But, to see an Army Captain like Jay who was clearly a happy man that loved his family and made everyone around him better, who was also very passionate about serving his country and helping others less fortunate, and who undoubtedly believed in what it was that he was doing, is truly reassuring. Regardless of all the politics and ethical debates surrounding war, one cannot deny the remarkable courage, integrity, and character it takes to serve in our nations military for the greater good. The qualities that only 1% of our nations inhabitants possess. Thank God for people like Captain John “Jay” Brainard III.
In closing, I’d like to thank you, his family, for allowing me to carry forth Jay’s memories. I can guarantee you that, as long as I live, I will not forget this experience. Nor will I forget the sacrifices made by Captain Brainard III. Seeing that I didn’t know him personally, I’ll never possibly be able to fathom what you all went through in losing Jay, but I hope this reflection will suffice in showing you how much this whole experience changed me for the better, and how honored I am to be one of many patrons who have, and who will continue to share Captain John “Jay” Brainard III’s memory. Thank you.
Sincerely, Kyle Hurst
Kyle, Thank you so very much for carrying Jay’s stone and his memory with you as you walked the streets of Portland with TSP. THank you for acknoweldging Jay’s character and sacrifice for our country. Jay would have been so proud and honored to have an ROTC Cadet carry his stone. Jay loved being a Maine Black Bear Cadet and his years there helped to make him in to the honorable and committed officer that he became. My husband and I would love to meet you in person some day to share more stories of Jay and what made him the wonderful man that he was. If you are ever in our area please look us up. With gratitude, Nancy and Whitey White
On 28 April 2015, Tony Llerena wrote —
Dear family and friends of Captain Brainard,
On April 18, 2015, I had the distinct honor of carrying Army Captain John R. ”Jay” Brainard’s Summit Project memorial stone over the course of nearly 10 miles in Orono for the Zimmerman Fitness Challenge. The stone I carried was chosen by Jay’s wife Emily and was transported from one of Emily’s favorite hiking trails in Germany. It is a particularly substantial stone but one fitting of who it represents. Jay was an avid outdoorsman and loved spending time in the Maine woods. On this day, the stone would spend a significant amount of time in the University of Maine woods, where Jay most likely spent a lot of time training as an Army ROTC cadet. Jay was commissioned as an officer in the Army after graduating from UMaine in 2008. He later became an Apache helicopter pilot and was assigned to the 12th Combat Aviation Brigade. I was very proud to share the stone with the current Army ROTC staff and cadets who were also competing in the challenge.
I was joined by my Summit Project Team; Thomas Hayden, Spencer Smoot, and Scott Stitham each carrying memorial stones of their own. They carried the memorial stones of SSG Brandon Silk, Spc. Christopher D. Gelineau, and the namesake of the Zimmerman Challenge 1stLT James Zimmerman respectively.
In many ways I felt like I had no business being on that course that day carrying Jay’s stone. I was very anxious before the competition and I knew the event would be one of the most physically demanding tasks I’d ever done. In comparison to many of the participants, I was older, slower, and not as fit. Completing the course with a memorial stone in my ruck along with an additional 35 lbs of weight seemed like an impossible task. It would take every ounce of strength and determination I had in me.
Jay had a way of encouraging people and pushing the outside of their comfort zone. I thought most about something Jay said to Emily on their first hike together up Mount Katahdin. They were on Knife’s Edge, a particularly steep part of one of the trails, which made Emily nervous. Jay’s way to encourage Emily was to say “you can do this right now, or you can sit there and wait until a helicopter comes to pick you up. But you’ve got this.” There would be no helicopter coming for me that day. There would only be honor, courage, commitment, and the brotherhood of my fellow Summit Project Team.
The best way I could describe our team’s performance was slow and steady. We received encouragement from all of the other teams as they were aware of our important mission. James Zimmerman’s family would pat our rucks for strength and luck as they passed us on the march. We ran twelve loops around the UMaine mall so this happened many times over. The enormous support was emotionally overwhelming at times. Although our bodies wanted to quit as we progressed through the course, our hearts would not quit.
The most humbling moment of the day for me was receiving hugs and thanks from James’s mother and father before the race. You could see it in their eyes how much the community remembering their son means to them and their family. My heart broke as I watched James’s cousin sobbing before the race as her family gathered around us. I know the Summit Project is important work but seeing first hand the profound meaning it has to not only the hikers but to the families is an experience I carry with me. I’m most glad about being able to share this experience with my wife and three children. They’ve heard me talk about the Summit Project on many occasions but this was the first time that they could see how important this project is first hand.
The Zimmerman Challenge for Team Summit Project ended with a heap of four tired and drained competitors bodies piled one on top of the other at the finish line. We had endured, persevered and finally triumphed on our mission. I believe Jay would have been proud to look upon our exhausted faces. If Jay can see this, I want to say thank you for being there with us, helping get us through the day. We’ll have to get a helicopter ride from you another day. #MHANF
Very Respectfully,
Tony Llerena
Coordinator for VETS
Student Life
The University of Maine
Dear Emily, I wish to extend my deepest condolences for the tragic loss of your husband John who was KIA on May 28th, 2012. Although I have not yet had the honor of carrying the stone of your husband, his memory was brought to light in the recent TSP hike at BSP. One of my students (Michelle Bender) from Lake Region High School carried your husband’s stone up Pleasant Mt. She was a foreign exchange student visiting from Germany. Although someone else was carrying the stone of your husband at BSP, I remembered the hike with my students and the student who carried your husband’s stone. Thank you for your sacrifice and the sacrifice your husband made. May God Bless you and give you comfort in your moments of grief. I shall keep you and John in my prayers.
Dear Mr. and Mrs. White,
My name is Mike Winslow and I’m a full time Law Enforcement Ranger in Baxter State Park. I had the honor of carrying Army Capt. John R.”Jay” Brainerd’s stone to the top of Katahdin on 6/27/15.
To explain my journey fully of carrying Jay’s stone to the top of Maine’s highest peak I should back up a bit. I was asked to do a hiker brief at NEOC for the 2015 TSP at BSP. I felt from the previous year that I had a firm grasp on what TSP was all about, and no doubt it was going to be an honor to be in the same room as everyone involved in such a tribute. Within minutes of arriving at NEOC I realized I didn’t have a grasp on TSP. I was quickly overwhelmed, not only was it an honor to be there, but the sense of Family and Friendship was unbelievable. Ziggy put it best that night by saying “to understand TSP you have to experience it”. While there, I had the opportunity to see all of the stones in one spot for the first time. The emotions still hit me hard thinking back to seeing all of the stones placed on that table. I had a sense of pride for our country and a sense of peace that I had never felt before. I knew immediately I wanted to get more involved with TSP.
Shortly after that night, many emails were exchanged about doing a non hosted hike up Katahdin. To be honest, it didn’t matter what stone I carried up Katahdin but I was hoping that whichever one it was had some sort of connection to Katahdin. It didn’t take long while going through profiles on the TSP site to realize I’d be spending a lot more time learning about Jay.
The hike started early on the morning of June 27, 2015 at Roaring Brook campground and would include Dylan Harris, Morgan Anderson (Ziggy) and myself. The three of us planned on hiking up the Helon Taylor trail to the summit of Pamola, across Knife Edge to Baxter Peak, down the Saddle trail to Chimney Pond and from there making our way back to Roaring Brook. Over the weeks prior to the hike I had tried to learn everything I could about Jay and his love for Katahdin. One of the things that stuck out to me was how Jay pushed people out of their comfort zone while believing in them and helping them along the way. I felt this couldn’t be a better setting to honor Jay. This hike would be Ziggys first time standing on top of Katahdin and Dylans first time crossing Knife Edge. I remember wondering that morning if the excitement for our hike was anything like it was for Jay and Emily on their first hike crossing Knife Edge. As I opened the back door of the truck my pack rolled out onto the ground, I remember looking over at Ziggy and saying “I think Jays ready to go for a hike.”
On our hike up the Helon Taylor trail I could feel Jay’s stone settle into my pack. There was plenty of time to think of how the stones that he carried out of the wood after a day of hunting could have had the same feeling. At one point the stone shifted and one corner of it was sticking into my back. On one of our stops I rearranged the stone, and for a while it was carrying well, but as time went on the same feeling came back. I remember smiling and thinking how Jay loved to run and maybe this was his way of giving me a nudge from behind telling me to speed up. As we crossed Knife Edge there were plenty of stops to take in the views and plenty of stops to encourage each other in some of the tricky spots. On the summit of Katahdin we stopped to get out the stones, take in the views and tell stories. I was amazed by the feeling of how I truly felt that I was sitting on the summit with Jay, that day.
It’s no wonder that Jay loved to hike and loved Katahdin. So many things we experienced that day summed up who Jay was. The firm handshakes that were exchanged at the beginning of adventure turned into hugs and lasting friendship by the end of the day. The long day we had on Katahdin gave all of us a chance to see each other out of our comfort zone from time to time. Those times were always met with reassurance and believing in each other. And I’d be lying if I didn’t say we enjoyed many laughs along the hike.
Thank you, Mr. and Mrs. White and Emily for being willing to share Jay’s story. I immediately felt a connection to Jay’s story when I read it. Jay had qualities that I like to think I pride myself in, as well. Whether it is a solid firm hand shake, pushing others around me to achieve something new, or spending time in the woods with family, Jay’s story made me pause and appreciate the things in life that really matter. As a Ranger in Baxter State Park, I have helped carry many people off Katahdin, but until now I’d never had the opportunity and honor of carrying someone’s memory up Katahdin. Thank you for this opportunity, it will forever be close to my heart. MHANF
Sincerely,
Mike Winslow
Millinocket, Maine
Mike, I apologize for not seeing your post on this page earlier. I cannot tell you how powerful your story is in describing how you connected to Jay and his life story. We are truly grateful to you for taking the time and energy to hike with Jay’s stone and learn about his life. I know in my heart that Jay was with you as you hiked and that he was Honored and Humbled that a Law enforcement Ranger carried his stone and his memory up Katahdin! We hope to meet you in person someday soon. Thank you so much for supporting TSP. MHANF!
Dear Mike, We thank you so very much for carrying Jay’s tribute stone up Katahdin with TSP. Thank you for getting to know Jay and learning about him and what made him the exceptional young man and Army officer that he was. I am certain that his spirit climbed with you as you hiked the rugged trails and summited Katahdin. Jay loved being at Baxter and relished any opportunity to hike there. We are so very moved in knowing that Jay is not forgotten and that he is indeed still making new friends:) Thank you from the bottom of our hearts. MHANF!
Dear Mr. & Mrs. White,
My name is Stephanie Dubay and I had the honor of meeting you in Lincoln, ME at The Summit Project walk to support Maine Heros Are Never Forgotten. It was a pleasure to meet you both and Matt. I am thankful that you were able to join us and I want you to know that CPT Jay Brainard really spoke to me, as soon as I started to research him. I quickly found that Jay and I had lots in common. Jay’s love for the outdoors, hunting, climbing Mount Katahdin, his love for the flag, that he was always pushing himself to do more and that he wanted to help others.
I’m sorry that Jay’s stone didn’t make the trip and I truly hope you liked the Endurance stone that I chose. I chose the Endurance stone because I felt like that represented Jay the best. Jay got so engulfed in everything he dedicated himself to. He always finished something he started. I loved hearing about him starting a new program at Husson and that’s an example of Jay’s Endurance. Always striving to do more while staying humble.
I was so pleased to hear that earlier that day, Jay’s gram received a Purple Heart (in honor of Jay) on National Purple Heart Day! I truly feel that Jay blessed us all that day.
When I was young, a teacher had us pick words to describe ourselves using our last name. I wanted to do this with Jay.
B-Brave
R-ROTC flag etiquette
A-A very humble young man
I-Intelligent
N-Never forgotten
A-A generous young man
R-Really committed
D-Dedicated to his family, friends, Army & country
Jay will forever be in my heart and never forgotten. It was a pleasure meeting you and an honor to carry the Endurance stone to honor him. Thank you for being so kind & warm, I understand why Jay loved being with you and Whitey!
Love,
Stephanie Dubay
Stephanie; Whitey, Matt and I want to thank you once again for carrying the Endurance tribute stone in honor and remembrance of Jay at the parade in Lincoln on Friday. Your kindness and genuine interest in learning about Jay’s life, truly touched us. At first we were a little disappointed at not having Jay’s tribute stone to carry and place in the display case, but when we met you and heard how you connected to Jay and his enduring attitude, we understood why that particular stone came to represent Jay that day. It seems to us that Jay somehow has hand in choosing those who carry his stone. Everyone who has carried him so far has made a meaningful connection that leaves them knowing that Jay truly lives on through this awe inspiring project. When we got home Friday night, we sat out under the stars hoping to catch a glimpse of a shooting star. We talked about how the word ENDURANCE was perfect to describe Jay. He had an enduring spirit throughout his childhood and adulthood. He challenged himself to overcome his fears and expose himself to physical and mental challenges. He Never Quit anything he started! He endured much in his short life and grew through his challenges to become the accomplished young officer that he was. On Sunday morning I re-read a speech written by one of Jay’s fellow officers who deployed with Jay to Afghanistan. This is just a part of this speech given at Camp Marmal, Afghanistan after Jay and CW5 John Pratt were KIA on Memorial Day 2012. Notice the word” Enduring” mentioned more than once to describe Jay:)
CPT Jay Brainard Memorial Speech:
It is with a heavy heart I stand before you today, to pay respect to a great man, loving husband, caring officer, and the driven pilot – CPT Jay Brainard. Jay was all that and more, as many of you know, and I hope to portray and capture but a part of that personality so many loved here today. I am truly humbled to be speaking for someone who brought such light and joy to all those around him.
Although Jay recently joined HHC, 12th CAB, he made a lasting impression on everyone he met in that short time. I think everyone will agree they were always greeted by Jay with that constant smiling face and an undefeatable upbeat attitude. Certainly, Jay’s defining qualities were his overwhelming kindness and an enduring positive attitude. The same held true when I first met Jay back in Illesheim when he reported to his first Apache Unit, 3-159th ARB “Quickstrike.” Like many of us fresh out of the Apache course, Jay was eager to get into the cockpit and learn the role as a Platoon Leader. While assigned as a Platoon leader for Bravo Company, Jay was always smiling as a member of the Quickstrike Bounty Hunters and no matter what the situation, he always found the positives in any dilemma. This enduring positive attitude was felt by all who interacted with Jay and the results were contagious. He could easily find the upside of any situation and this had an incredible impact on those around him. As Bravo Company went through difficult times, due to high turnover and a short notice mission change, Jay’s constant optimistic approach helped keep everyone focused and motivated. I know he had a huge effect on his fellow Platoon Leaders as well as the soldiers and pilots he served with in the Bounty Hunters. This is apparent in a remark his Attack Company Commander made just a few days ago. He aptly described Jay as a man whose “heart was large and his kindness was overwhelming, and I will never forget the light he brought into mine and everyone else’s lives.” I think above all, Jay was just happy to be living the lifestyle and fulfilling the career he had always dreamed of.
Thank you again Stephanie for Honoring and Remembering Jay and all of our beloved Fallen. MHANF!
PS. I love your description of Jay using his last name:) I also like to write about people in my life using the letters of their name. (a coincidence? I think not:)
🙂
I’m so glad you liked the EDURANCE stone, I truly believe Jay was their guiding me in finding my shirt and the stone. Even though I didn’t personally know him, I feel like I do. Not just the upcoming days, not just the day of the walk, but still today. He will forever be in my heart. I loved the part in the story, “This enduring positive attitude was felt by all who interacted with Jay and the results were contagious.” I truly believe ENDURANCE was the proper stone for Jay and I am honored to have carried it. I will forever be thankful for this experience, I am blessed to have met you and look forward to seeing you again and helping make sure that Jay and the MHANF!
My name is Terri Elden and I am from Bucksport, Maine. I carried Jay’s stone on Sunday, September 27, 2015 in the Maineiac’s Charities 5K in Bangor, Maine. There were 12 of us in our group and we carried a total of 14 TSP stones that day. As the wife of a retired Maineiac (Air Guardsman), this seemed like the perfect combination – walk for a great Maine charity while remembering and honoring Jay. I was especially excited to carry Jay’s stone on this day because I already had a connection with him. You see when Jay returned home to the states after making the ultimate sacrifice on that Memorial Day in 2012, my fellow coworkers and I stood on the sidewalk out in front of my work and paid our respects as the procession drove by. It was a very powerful day that led to a great outcome.
Days after watching that emotional procession, a group of us created a Military Appreciation Group at my work. Jay was the trigger that made that happen. Through this group and our work on behalf of Maine veterans and their families, our connections grew and we were introduced to The Summit Project back in 2013. Who do you think was the first TSP soldier we researched? Yep, Jay! It is such a great story of a small town boy who beat the odds to do something so great and meaningful with his life. From all that I have read, Jay sounds like he was a very driven individual and put his heart and soul into everything that he did and never gave up. I know that becoming an Apache pilot must not have been an easy task but what an accomplishment.
I had the honor of meeting Mr. & Mrs. White at a TSP fund raiser in Bangor. In talking with them and seeing the pictures that they carry around of him, I can tell he was a very special person and made a huge impact in this world in his short life. It sounds as if his impact was greater than his family and community as well – I also read that they named a lodging facility after him at his base in Ansbach-Katterbach, Germany. Brainard Hall will stand in honor of Jay for all future service men and women who stay there…. I hope they learn his story also.
On September 27, 2015 I carried the two-tone brown stone that Jay actually picked out as an 11 year old. It was quite moving to know that he had not only previously seen this stone, but actually picked it out himself and brought it home all those years ago. I wasn’t sure which stone I would be assigned (knowing there were 2 TSP stones for Jay) but it didn’t really matter – I was there to honor Jay. The other stone, provided by his wife, is equally special as it comes from the most beautiful part of Germany that was their home.
I learned that Jay believed in never giving up, going after your dreams, and appreciating the little things in life. Jay’s story has taught me that life is short but a big impact can be made in a short time. I promise I will carry on Jay’s story and continue to help, serve, and honor our veterans in any way that I can.
Sincerely,
Terri Elden
TSP @ ANP
TEAM TARN
October 17, 2015
Lorna Harris
Gold Star Mother
We could not of asked for a better day to Hike in Acadia National Park to the top of Cadillac Mt. The sun arose bringing with it the beautiful colors of Fall, & the crisp air of October. Everyone gathering together as one Huge Family United together to show their Patriotism, Devotion & Commitment to Honor Maine’s Fallen Heroes. Remembering those who have made the ultimate Sacrifice on behalf of us all, and expressing their Gratitude, for their Service & the Value of our Freedoms.
I was assigned the Memorial Stone of Cpt. John “Jay” Brainard III. Jay was an Army Apache Helicopter Pilot with the 12th Combat Aviation Brigade based in Germany. He died May 28th in Kabul, Afghanistan, of wounds sustained when his helicopter crashed. Only 26, he had accomplished so much for such a young Man. Learning to be a pilot, promoted as Captain and serving as Platoon Leader. This showing me that he was very strong willed, eager to learn and his Love for our Nation. His family & Battle Buddies refereed him to be a very Strong Leader, & Jay himself believed his most important job was helping his Fellow Soldiers. As I climbed throughout the day my mind often wondered into Jay’s mind, knowing that he must of thought that he could do anything he sat his mind to, never quitting. It was those times that I drew Strength, & Courage not only from Jay but from my own son Dustin who was KIA in April 2006 as well when the hiking got steep, and certainly when we had to scale straight down the other side of Dorr Mt. (not a fan of heights). As the morning went by I learned that our Team’s Trail would take us up 2 peaks & 2 summits before our Mission was successful. I thought of how much we take for granted, simple things, enjoying the Warmth Companionship of my Fellow Team Members. Sharing stories, making connections within ourselves. Letting the beauty of our surroundings engulf me, hoping that as I continue to the top of this mountain my Love of the outdoors & hiking will be channeled up to the Heavens and reach my “Soldier” for this being a Passion of his also. Stopping every once in a while to hold Jay’s Stone & take photos I was amazed with the beauty of his unique stone, & I don’t think I have seen one quite like this. Each time I held this smooth, two-toned tan & brown stone I felt a Spiritual connection knowing that Jay had hand picked this rock himself when he was 11 in a Stream near Moxie Pond with his God Parents. After bringing home this stone that day its home remained in the families rock garden for many, many years until it was gently placed in the loving arms of the Summit Project.
Even though the weather turned a little colder and a little rain, with mud coated ground & slippery rocks under foot the most difficult part of the climb is still in front of us, at the top of the mountain when we gather into a “Sacred Circle” and one by one we all pay Tribute to our Fallen Soldiers & the meaning of what a Spirit Stone represents. For everyone that has entered this circle it is proved to be a Life Changing Experience for sure. Powerful messages, Loving words, Gratitude and Respect Expressed. An incredible, safe environment to leave nothing unsaid, reaching out to each other, freely speaking, feelings straight from our Hearts. Bonding everyone together, friends & family for Life.
BECAUSE of this moment I am most Proud of the Summit Project, Mission Complete! Forever carrying on for certain that MAINE HEROES ARE NOT FORGOTTEN!
For you Nancy & Whitey,
First of all let me say that this is such an Overwhelming & Powerful Journey we have set forth upon, and very Bittersweet for this Gold Star Mother. I am Truly Honored to carry Jay’s Story.
Words truly can’t define how I felt carrying “Jay’s, memorial stone up Cadillac Mountain. I am so Honored to have had that pleasure. The whole day is such a Humbling experience. Since the inception of The Summit Project and it’s Mission, I believe that each rock is placed in the loving hands of the hiker, a family member or friend, Patriot Rider or the complete stranger, who was meant to carry the story of that particular soldier. As a mother of a “Fallen Soldier” its hard to accept that your loved, your baby is gone, at times so hard to even breathe, our pride is immeasurable, and our grief inconsolable at times. We must always remember the reasons why they joined, what they believed in, and the courage it took to leave loved family & friends and travel to a foreign land to fight in War. We all pray no other family join our “ELITE” group, but what strikes in our Hears the most is that we all are members joined together because of our truly wonderful “ELITE” treasured loved one. Because
The Summit Project allows a gold star family to feel that they are, surrounded with Love, Pride, Honor & Commitment. Soothing our Hearts knowing that so many are reminding us and so many others that our Sons & Daughters Lived. Therefore, reaching & touching out to everyone that our Maine Heroes are Not Forgotten. And that is such a great gift to all.
Having finally officially meeting you at the Lincoln TSP Hike this summer, I am grateful that we have created strong bonds and shared special memories of our sons together. Whether it be a memorial stone or one of the inspirational stones that I’ve carried or traveled with I truly believe each hold a special presence. One “sign” that I was given the stone I was meant to carry came when you told me stories that Jay would often visit schools and teach proper Flag Etiquette to the children. For the last three years I have been part of the Honor Guard for American Gold Star Mothers. My Duty for the last two, is Honoring & Remembering our Veteran’s by carrying the American Flag into Arlington National Cemetery for Memorial Day & Veteran’s Day. Another “sign” was learning Jay’s Angelversary is on Memorial Day, May 28th in 2012. In a couple weeks on Veterans Day, I will certainly carry the Flag into Arlington especially in Honor & Memory of him. Like Jay, I take great Pride in everything.
“The Strength of a Hero comes from not only their own personnel values, but their upbringing as well.”
Jay I Honor you today and every day for the Ultimate Sacrifice you made.
Wrapping you both in my Love, Forever Bonded Together
Lorna
Lorna, As you well know, words fall short when attempting to describe the powerful impact that The Summit Project has had on Gold Star Families. Having You carry Jay’s stone at ANP was especially moving for me as a Gold Star Aunt and Godmother. We, the families of the Fallen, shoulder a heavy load of grief and loss at having our loved ones taken from us while in the service of our country. Nevertheless, our pride for their commitment and sacrifice in defense of our country and our Constitution, impels us to stand strong and step into the breach when Faithful citizens step forward to Honor and Remember our beloved Fallen.
As a Goldstar Mother, you are intimately connected to all our Fallen and their families. As you carry the cherished memory of your own son Dustin, you have a deep knowing as to how it feels for Jay’s mother,( my sister Susan) and for myself and all family members that have lost a loved in the line of duty.
I too believe that our beloved have a hand in choosing the people who will carry their stones for The Summit Project hikes. When you told me your connection to Jay and his love of the flag, I knew immediately that Jay had chosen you:) I find solace in knowing that his spirit lives on through those who accept the challenge to carry his stone and story. From hearing numerous reflections from those who have hiked with Jays stone, I can say without a doubt that he continues to touch lives with encouragement, tenderness and mirth:)
Thank you Lorna for carrying Jays stone and story. Thank you for your example of courage and service to your fellow Gold Star Family members. Your spirit of fortitude and joy are an inspiration to me as I endeavor to stand strong and hopeful amidst the heart wrenching reality that Jay has gone before us.
We take great solace in knowing that Maine Heroes are Not Forgotten!
On October 17th, 2015, I had the honor of carrying Jay’s stone and story during TSP at ANP 2015. As I sit here writing to Nancy and Whitey about the experience and what it meant to me – I find it very fitting that I am in flight given that Jay was a pilot. I am currently somewhere over Indiana headed for Boston and then on home to Maine. Like Jay, no matter where I may be – Maine will always be home. One of the strongest connections I felt with Jay was Nancy’s stories about his love for Maine. Jay was always happy to come home and loved so many things about Maine that he would have an itinerary that would fill a binder for just a few days spent in Maine. I find that I am very much like Jay when I have the opportunity to spend some time at home.
In carrying Jay’s stone up Cadillac Mountain, I was a member of Team Bubble. Team Bubble was assigned the more difficult trail, and it was one that I had not hiked before. In making the steep ascent, there were many times I thought of Emily’s story of her first hiking trip with Jay and how she said that he always pushed people to step outside of their comfort zone and challenge themselves. In sharing Jay’s love of hiking, climbing Cadillac may have been solidly in my comfort zone, but it was still a challenge both physically and emotionally. During that climb I also thought a lot about family and the ties that bind us whether it be blood, love, or a shared sense of purpose. There were many hikers with me that day that I consider family, and we were brought together through this shared purpose of honoring our fallen heroes. It is one of the strongest examples of how Jay’s life continues to have an impact even on those who did not have the opportunity to know him.
While it wasn’t exactly planned, Jay tagged along with me for another hike after ANP, as well. In the week after ANP, I was scheduled to visit with a client in Denver, CO. Sharing Jay’s love of the outdoors, I made time for a side trip up to Estes Park for a day hike in Rocky Mountain National Park. When I arrived there, I found Jay’s “cheat card” in my pack. This card had his picture and small portion of his story printed on it. I don’t think this was any coincidence, and I was even more sure that Jay was still with me when I came across a hiking patch at a store on my way into the park for a trail called “Brainard Lake”. After asking about Brainard Lake and finding that it was too far away to fit into my day, I followed through with my original hiking plans. I took Jay with me on a short hike that included visits to Bear Lake, Nymph Lake, Dream Lake, and Emerald Lake. At that elevation, there was a lot of snow – and there were few people on the trail. Standing there at 10,000 feet with a beautiful winter landscape around me, I was given the opportunity to share Jay’s story with a couple from Miami. They were on a road trip that was to include Rocky Mountain National Park, Yellowstone National Park, and Glacier National Park. Knowing how much Jay loved the outdoors, I like to think that even though his stone and cheat card did not travel on with them – through sharing his story with them, Jay was able to continue on traveling through the western US seeing new trails and pushing them through each hike they took on.
Nancy, Whitey, and Emily – Thank you so much for sharing Jay’s story with all of us at The Summit Project. I very much enjoyed getting the opportunity to spend time with Nancy and Whitey at ANP, and I look forward to spending time with you again soon. I also want you to know that I will be adding my Brainard Lake patch to my pack, and I look forward to carrying his story with me through many more adventures.
Sending love to you both.
Ziggy
Morgan, I hardly know where to start in thanking you for carrying Jays’ stone and story at ANP and to the Rockies. Whitey and I are so very moved by your sincere consideration of Jay and his life well lived. I have no doubt that Jay did indeed choose you to carry his stone and to come to know him in a real and intimate way. As you so accurately related, Jay loved Maine. He loved to come home and explore the woods and waters here in his beloved home state. He was an avid hiker, and especially loved Acadia park and Baxter park. Like you, Jay had a broad smile and a glimmer in his eye:) He loved to be of service to others, to share their burdens and to make people smile:) Like you, Jay had a big heart and a love of adventure. I have no doubt that he purposely stowed away in your pack on your trip to Rocky Mountain National Park. Had he lived to come back stateside with his Battalion, he would have been stationed with them at Fort Carson Colorado. Thank you for sharing your beautiful pictures with Jay’s stone and his card. Seeing his face their at etherial Emerald Lake is etched into my mind and heart. The Brainard Lake patch that Jay arranged for you to find, leaves little doubt that he considers you a friend:) Jay always gave gifts to his friends:)
ps. Your you tube video touched our hearts beyond words….Thank You
I had the honor and privilege of participating in the Summit Project up Bradbury Mountain for a school field trip. To me this wasn’t just an ordinary field trip; this was something special. To be able to carry the stone of a man who lost his life defending our country, it makes you think of the struggles and hardships the soldiers dealt with every single day being away from their homes and their loved ones. But soldiers like John Brainard do it everyday because they want to help people. They want to make sure that all of us back home get to live a safe, happy life so we don’t have to worry and be scared of the things they deal with. People like Captain John Brainard are my everyday heroes.
Through this project, I learned that John Brainard was born in Atkinson Maine, he was assigned to the 12th Combat Aviation Brigade in Ansbach-Katterbach, Germany. He died on May 28th 2012 of wounds he sustained when his AH-64 helicopter was shot down from enemy fire. John was described as an outdoors man, he loved camping, canoeing,swimming and spending summer days at Moxie Pond. John enjoyed making people go out of their comfort zone and making them try something different; always wanting them to expand their boundaries. Running was John’s passion. Whenever he could, he would go and just run to help get away and help clear his mind.
All kids always look for that one person they can look up to. That one person they can call their hero. Many kids go for the athletes or the celebrities; the guys who make millions of dollars and drive nice cars or the women who wear the most amazing dresses or have the best song out on the radio. But not me. A hero to me is someone who doesn’t mind getting their hands dirty, someone who isn’t afraid to fail. To me a hero is someone who wants to help people and be a strong leader. John Brainard is that person to me. John Brainard is a hero. As a junior in high school I’m preparing myself for college, the workforce and real life and reading about someone like John makes me want to be that strong leader that he was and be the hard worker he was. I want to be the hero John Brainard was.
Thank you for allowing me to carry this mans stone to the peak of this mountain and being able to share his story it was an honor and a privilege.
Thank You, Zach Boyd
Zach, thank you so very much for carrying Jays’ stone, his story and his memory. Although his legal name was John, he always went by the name Jay. He would be so very proud and honored that you have been inspired by his life of service and sacrifice for our great country. Jay was a hard working, never quit kind of guy. He finished whatever he started and took pride in his work. He is indeed a good role model for those who want to set and reach lofty goals in life. Our family misses him beyond words , but Jay will never be forgotten thanks to people like you who are willing to learn about him and get to know the amazing young Army Captain that he became! Maine Heroes are not forgotten!!
I had the honor and privilege of carrying Jay’s stone, April 17th, through the streets of Newport. The moment I picked up Jay’s stone, I felt a sense of peace. (I was extremely nervous to pick it up). The walk started at the waterfront where Jay would spend time as a child. As I cradled the large stone in my arm, we started to walk. I thought, “this stone is heavy but nothing compared to the heaviness the family must feel at the loss of losing him”. At that very moment, I felt that peace again ,it was as we crossed the dam and I knew he would be with me every step of the way. I felt that, although I had never met Jay, he was with me. As I walked most of the way in silence, I was able to reflect on what I had learned about Jay and his life’s journey. He was an amazing young man with big dreams and an equally big heart! I’m not sure there are any words to describe a connection to someone you have never met, but the honor and admiration I feel for him and his entire family is like nothing I have ever had the privilege of feeling! You have certainly made an impact in your time here Jay and T hank you for choosing me to carry your stone!! You will NEVER be forgotten!!! MHANF.
I was the fortunate one to be honored to hand off the stone Of Sgt. Brainard III this past Saturday, May 28, 2016. It was a very emotional experience for me and many others who attended, especially knowing of the Fallen Hero. After reading his full story online, I felt even closer to the kin due to Jay hand picked the stone himself when he was 11. I am glad to have been part of this memorable day. MHANF❤️❤️❤️
My name is Julie Anne Cooper and I climbed Big Moose mountain on 19 May 2016 as part of the summit project. I was proud to carry CPT Jay Brainard’s stone when I was climbing the mountain. I was thinking about how Jay Brainard would not let me stop climbing the mountain until we got to the top. The climb was hard and tiring and the weather was nice but then it started to rain and it got cold fast. but I kept pushing my way through and I kept my head held high and kept thinking about how jay would want me to keep pushing my way through tough situations like climbing mountains. I also was proud to climb the mountain because I knew that he went to Nokomis briefly like we do. I know he will be missed very much. I know how hard it is lose someone that you love. It was my greatest honor to carry his stone and keep his legacy alive.
Hello My name is Angelo Fascione and I was honored to carry the stone of Jay. From what I researched about him was that he was a great guy and that he loved to be outside. On May 19th, 2016 our JROTC class hiked Big Moose Mountain, and while hiking I thought a lot about him and what he sacrificed. During the hike it was a long and tiring climb but I enjoyed it a lot. All of us in my group that went up were very tired but just the thought of what he did for us was motivation to keep going. Even though it rained and we got wet climbing down it was a great experience. Thank you for letting me participate in a great event and I look forward to doing it next year. It was my honor to carry his stone and keep his legacy going.
To A Fallen Hero
You shall never be forgotten.
For, though you may be gone from this world,
Your spirit will live forever.
It lives in the laughing eyes of children
who are free from want and oppression.
It lives in the bravery and conviction of those
who still struggle for liberty.
And it lives in me…for I promise
to cherish every breath of freedom that
you paid the ultimate price to secure.
I ask only that I might be granted some
small fraction of your courage and strength
to face the challenges of my life with an
honor and dignity worth your legacy.
May you rest in eternal peace,
safe in the knowledge that your sacrifice
was not made in vain.
-Author Unknown
My name is Ashley MacKenzie, and I grew up in Newport, Maine. I grew up in an ideal childhood setting surrounded by lots of family, friends and love. Summer days were spent with the other neighborhood kids making lemonade stands, and summer nights spent playing kick the can and lighting sparklers. These memories are shared with one neighborhood friend, in particular, whom I will never forget. His name is Jay, I knew him as JJ, and 20 years later I sadly find myself carrying a special stone in his name, to honor him, remember him, and keep his spirit and memory alive. Jay made the ultimate sacrifice not only for me, but for all of us, when his Apache Helicopter was shot down by enemy fire on Memorial Day of 2012, in Afghanistan.
I’ve known Jay since we both were small children, as he would often come to my mother’s day care center, and his Nana lived right next door. I remember JJ being a gentle soul, quiet and kind, with the sweetest, softest smile, and deep dark eyes. He was a natural leader even back then, but in particular liked looking after his younger brother, Ben. What I remember most about JJ was his kindness and determination, no matter what he was doing. It was evident, even back then, that Jay was a doer, he was an achiever, and when he set his mind to something, he was going to accomplish it.
As Jay grew up he decided he wanted to live with his Aunt and Uncle, Nancy and Whitey White, in Atkinson. A place I think of as a little piece of heaven on earth. I think that Jay felt the same. He had a one-of-a-kind childhood there; one that many children can only dream about. His time was filled with lots of outdoor activities and he was surrounded by love. Prior to the hike, I had the privilege of spending an evening at the home of Whitey and Nancy White. We walked around the property, and I saw Jays memorial in their back yard, the Ameican flag waving freely, overlooking the yard where he spent so much of his youth. His achievements and awards he had earned through the years lined the walls of his childhood bedroom, again, proving that no matter what Jay set his mind to, he would do it, and give it his all. Those achievements set the ground work for Jay and his future in ROTC at the University of Maine, the army, and later as an apache pilot. Being in his home, it was also very evident that Jay was, and is, so very loved.
As I was preparing to pack and head up to Twin Pines, I was excited yet nervous about this, my first weekend with TSP. Immediately I noticed how warm, welcoming, loving and supportive everyone was. It was awe-inspiring to see families coming together again to either share their stories, or share hugs and laughs, or just be reunited. And I was grateful for it meant that I had more time to spend with Nancy and Whitey to talk and reminisce about Jay, which we did. I left that night feeling prepared for the next day, physically, mentally, and emotionally….or so I thought. The morning came, and the skies were dark. We had a great crew (team white) and we all were ready to take the journey together, and support each other every single step of the climb. The bonds that were built within the first 5 minutes predicted how well the rest of the day was going to go. We started our hike, and I was a bit nervous of what was to come. For most of the way up I thought about Jay, and what I would say once we reached the summit. I also found myself secretly looking for signs from Jay, to connect with me while on this hike. Our team did great, and we made it to the summit with ease, but it was a very windy and gloomy day, so we decided to have our summit ceremony in a little more of an intimate place. We found a perfect space on the trail, and we formed our circle. One by one, each hiker shared the story of their fallen hero, shed tears, made us laugh, but more importantly felt the connection; I know that I certainly did. We learned who these men were, who their families were, what they liked to do with their free time, etc. It all seemed so surreal. How could this be, that these great men are no longer with us?
Jay gave me the sign I was looking for when it was my turn to speak, and I couldn’t find the words. I felt his presence in a way I never had before. I was overcome with sadness and a heavy heart. I also felt his strength, and his calm demeanor. I had sudden flashbacks of our childhood. I could picture him in his oversized t-shirt, his long athletic shorts, and his crew-cut hair. How could he really be gone? Such a loving, hardworking man; why did it have to be him that had to make that ultimate sacrifice? Through the love and support of my teammates, and their patience, I found my strength to continue on and speak about Jay. I spoke about him as a child and the amazing man he’d become. I spoke about Jay’s personality, his kind heart and spirit, and the struggles he faced as a young boy, but only to give him the strength and determination to know what he wanted to do in life and where he wanted to be. I spoke about his family and how much he was loved and admired. His presence was certainly there, and I had found that feeling of connection I had been looking for all along. Thank You, Jay.
This experience, honoring Jay and being a part of the TSP family for this hike, is one that I will cherish forever. The friends that were made, the fun times had, getting to know Whitey and Nancy…but most importantly, getting to know Jay in a way I never had before, and honoring who he was and what he has done for us. I am forever grateful. As we were done the hike, a teammate of mine said, and I couldn’t agree more, “I feel so humbled and proud”. I know at the next event, a new person will choose Jays stone and carry it up to a summit, and speak of him and his legacy. I can only hope that they truly understand and feel what a brave, kind and honorable man Jay was, as I’m sure they will. Regardless, he will never be forgotten, he will always be loved, and he will always be a Hero.
To the family of Capt. John “Jay” Brainard,
I had the distinct honor to walk with Capt. Jay’s Summit Project stone up Borestone Mountain on Sunday, 7/31/16. I was part of an alumni group from Foxcroft Academy lead by Kirsten White of The Summit Project.
I was able to be at the bridge dedication for Capt. Jay on Saturday. That was a truly moving experience. In life, you just want the chance to know you did something for somebody. Jay did a lot for a lot of people. He cared about his country, his state, his town, and his family. He never wanted anything but to serve his country. He did that well.
As for our hike, six of my former classmates went up Borestone with stones of fallen service members. We talked about our lives, our families, and how Foxcroft Academy molded us into the people we are today. When we got to the peak, we sat down, held our stones tight, and talked about the service member whose stone we were carrying. We smiled proudly. We talked proudly about the men and women that we may not have known but we spoke like we were friends. We even shed tears, which doesn’t mean you are weak. It means you care. It was just awesome. I realized on the walk down the mountain this is exactly what Jay would want. We were old friends getting together and talking about a wonderful place that has given us so much.
I am not a military veteran. I have never served, but I have the absolute utmost respect for the brave and proud men and women that serve in our Armed Services. They are the heroes. Not sports stars, singers, or actors.
I know this doesn’t bring Jay back to us. I can’t image the pain and suffering you have gone through. I just want you to know that for one fleeting moment in time, I lived for Jay and man, it felt good. Thank you for the opportunity to walk with his stone and thank you Capt. John “Jay” Brainard for your ultimate sacrifice for a place you love. You will not be forgotten. This will not be the last time we walk together.
Sincerely,
Toby J. Nelson
Thank you Toby for your beautiful, heartfelt reflection of your Summit Project experience hiking Jays stone. Brownstone was the first mountain Jay ever hiked at age 10. He revisited there many times even bringing his new bride up to show her the view that he so loved.
It means the world to us for FA alumni to Honor and Remember Jay. Like yourself, F.A. played a major role in shaping Jay into the accomplished man that he became. Whitey and I are so very pleased to know that our beloved nephew ,CPT JAY will not be forgotten by his fellow F.A. alumni!
Every summer for the last six years my sister, Debbie and I have planned a trip to hike in the White Mountains of New Hampshire. Since I was introduced to TSP three years ago I have taken a stone on these hiking trips. This year I had planned to take the stone of Captain Jay Brainard but it was not available when I went to the MEPS building to pick it up. I had to make another choice. Making the choice it a hard task. They are all so deserving to be taken on an adventure and to be remembered.
I chose to take the stones of Tyler Springmann and Justin Buxbaum (please see Tyler and Justin’s pages for more details) as well as the card for Jay Brainard. Reason I wanted to take Jay’s stone out was because I had hiked Mt. Washington two years ago with it and wanted his spirit with me again. He was with me, stone or not.
On July 18, 2016 we started our hike up to Greenleaf Hut. Our plan was to stay overnight and hike up to Mt. Lafayette the next day and across Franconia Ridge and then back down Falling Waters trail to the valley. We had a beautiful day for our hike. Part way up the mountain a group passed us. Everyone passed us! We are slow. I also had two American flags stuck in my backpack as well as a TSP patch sewn on the bag.
I asked my sister if the flags were still there. There was a man behind me who said that they were still there and was I leaving them at the top. I said no I just want to make sure they are still there. I then began to tell him about The Summit Project and that I had memorial stones in my backpack. He was very interested in what I was telling him. We stopped for a few minutes and I gave him a TSP business card. He told me he was an Army Colonel from Joint Base Lewis-McChord in Washington state. He even showed me his ID to prove he wasn’t making it up.
The colonel was very impressed with what I told him about TSP and said he would look it up as soon as he was home. I really enjoy being able to share the message of The Summit Project with others.
I was sure the boys were with me then! Both Tyler, Justin and Jay were all in the Army. Coincidences have happened every time I hike with a stone. I just know they are around us helping and guiding us.
Just before getting to the hut I heard three strange bird noises in the trees. I felt that Jay was with me. After my first hike with his stone two years ago, Nancy White (Jay’s aunt) told me she connects with Jay through birds and that he always made weird bird noises from the time he was small. He would draw birds and also liked to play pranks on people. When hiking with others he would go up ahead on the trail and jump out to scare them. I imagined that Jay was there in Franconia that day with me. He loved hiking and being in the woods.
We made it to the hut and after dinner there was a rain storm. It cleared away and there was a beautiful rainbow. The weather was supposed to be sunny and clear for the next day but we awoke to complete fog, wind gusts up to 30 miles an hour and low visibility. While at the hut I was able to share with other hikers about TSP. I had the stones out on a bench with their cards. All who asked about the stones were intrigued and were interested to know more.
I kept asking the boys to help me find a sign that they were with me on this journey. I specifically asked to find heart rocks. When my sister and I reached the peak of Mt. Lafayette we couldn’t see very far in front of us, the wind was gusting and we were getting wet. I had to keep my eyes on the trail. As we approached the top I found two heart rocks in the same area not far from each other! I immediately picked them up and put them in my backpack. I went from two stones to four stones! I was so happy to have something I could bring back for their families. I still needed to something to bring back for Jay’s family. Later in the day when we were truly tired and struggling, we were coming to a water crossing. In the middle of the trail was a stick in the perfect shape of a cross. I knew that was a sign from Jay. I put it in my backpack for Nancy White, Jay’s aunt. I don’t know how that stick did not get stepped on all day. Many people had been hiking up the trail all day long. I was happy to have something for each family! Mission accomplished!
Hiking is hard work any day but hiking with The Summit Project memorial stones makes the journey have meaning and purpose. I am forever changed by being involved with TSP. I try to live a life worthy of their sacrifice everyday. MHANF
I never had the opportunity to know Jay Brainard. While we grew up in the same small town, and attended the same schools, with a 7 year age difference, our paths never crossed.
I got to really ‘know’ Jay over the course of two weekends. On July 30th, Jay was honored with a dedication of the CPT Jay Brainard Gold Star Memorial Bridge. The next day I participated in my first Summit Project, hiking Borestone Mountain with a group of Foxcroft Academy alumni, all carrying stones. While I didn’t hike with Jay’s stone that day, his story really touched me – a kid from my same hometown who overcame many obstacles to become one of the Army’s elite Apache helicopter pilots.
The day after the hike I decided that I wanted to honor Jay, and bring greater awareness to The Summit Project, by running in Foxcroft Academy’s Pony Pride 5K with his stone.
Jay has two stones for the Summit Project. The first (smaller) stone is from Maine that his Aunt and Uncle gave in his memory. The second, larger stone is one from Germany, the last place that he lived prior to his death that his wife, Emily, gave. When I picked up the stone that I was to carry, I quickly realized this was the larger stone. The first thing that went through my mind was ‘I hope I do Jay justice with this!’
Then I read about why Emily chose the stone she did, and I knew it was meant to be. Jay was a runner, who enjoyed running on trails where he and Emily lived in Germany. Emily considered herself a non runner, but began running after Jay’s death, and found this stone while running on the trails that Jay ran on. I related to that, as I never ran until my 30’s, and even though I have completed two half marathons, I still consider myself a non runner.
The day of the 5K was fairly hot, and when I put the backpack carrying the stone on, it felt quite heavy. I took strength in knowing that the heat and the weight was nothing compared to what our soldiers experience during their deployments. Many people asked why I was carrying a backpack with an American flag, and I was happy to be able to share Jay’s story and the Summit Project.
I was honored to be able to run Foxcroft Academy’s 5K in Jay’s memory. I believe that Emily, Jay’s wife, is still living overseas. I hope she gets a chance to read this, and know that a fellow ‘non runner’ pushed herself through a 5K around Jay’s hometown carrying the stone she selected.
Jay’s sacrifice will not be forgotten by his Foxcroft Academy family.
Hillary Steinke Caruso
Foxcroft Academy Class of 1996
Hillary, Forgive me for not replying to your essay until now. Somehow I failed to see your reflection until today. As fate would have it you wrote it my birthday.
I want you to know how very much it means to me that you decided to carry Jay’s stone for the Foxcroft 5k . He would have been, and I am sure he is so very happy that one of his own fellow alumni shouldered the weight of his sacrifice all the while remembering and honoring both him and his loving wife Emily. Jay always encouraged Em to press beyond her comfort zone and challenge herself to grow and explore her greatest personal potential. He is no doubt proud beyond words for her accomplishments since his passing over to the other side. She is a a strong, brave and gifted young woman who has faced great loss and continues to grow and strive to live a life worthy of Jay’s sacrifice. Emily and her husband Brook are expecting their first child this month.
I am so glad that her story moved you and that you felt connected to Jay through her. I admire you for challenging yourself to go beyond your comfort zone to live life to the fullest. I will be sure to tell Emily to read your reflection. I know that she will be as pleased as I am that Jay’s fellow alumni at F.A. are proud of his service and sacrifice for all of our freedoms. Thank you for keeping his memory and story alive for future generations of Ponies! #Foxcroft Heroes Are Not Forgotten!!!
My name is Lisa Pengel. I had the honor and privilege of carrying the stone and story of Army Capt. John R. “Jay” Brainard III, on October 1, 2016, to the summit of Cadillac Mountain, in Acadia National Park. Jay was assigned to 12th Combat Aviation Brigade, Ansbach-Katterbach, Germany; he died May 28, 2012 in Kabul, Afghanistan, of wounds sustained when his AH-64 Apache helicopter crashed while on patrol.
I feel blessed that I was actually carrying the stone that Jay had selected when he was 11 years old. The smooth, two-toned brown stone is one of the most beautiful I have seen. Jay found it in a cold stream flowing into Moxie pond in Caratunk, ME. Jay loved canoeing, swimming and camping on an island on Moxie. Jay and his family brought the stone home and placed it on a stump in their flower garden where it resided until his family decided to share it with TSP supporters who would carry it to honor Jay.
I found a lot of information on Jay, as he was deeply loved by many family members, friends, and all of his peers. Jay made a lasting impression on everyone he met. Everyone agreed that they were always greeted by Jay with that constant smiling face and an undefeatable upbeat attitude. He had an overwhelming kindness and an enduring positive attitude.
Jay is a young man that I would have loved to have met, to have in my circle of friends, someone I would have loved to spend time with, see his smile and hear his laughter. I have the feeling that his upbeat attitude and overwhelming kindness would have been contagious, and those are the best people to be around! He was truly loved, as was evident by everything I learned about him.
From the moment I received Jay’s stone, the chilly morning of October 1st, in Acadia National Park, I knew that his spirit was with me instantly. It was just a feeling that I had. Jay reminds me of my own three sons, very spirited, kind and loving. I could imagine Jay being a friend of my sons, of my entire family, being in our circle of good folks that love to get together for fellowship and laughter. And Jay would have been that kind of friend that we could rely on, if we needed anything. His Aunt and Uncle, Nancy and Whitey, are to be thanked for raising such a wonderful young man. He sacrificed everything for us back here in the States. I am truly humbled for his sacrifice, taken too young.
When Team Bubble arrived at the summit, I was anxious to take Jay’s stone out of my pack, and hold it once again, and share his story. It was difficult to say everything that I wanted to say, everything that I had learned about Jay, because when I held the stone, I took a deep breath, and the words were not coming out at first. After a moment of reflection, Jay’s spirit guided me to say what he wanted my fellow hikers to know about him. Love never dies, it never ends, it gets carried on to stay with our loved ones forever. Jay is happy, he wants all of us to live for today, to love each other, and we will see each other again. Jay reminds me that love is the most important thing we can do for each other while we are here.
I would like to offer my deepest sympathies to Nancy and Whitey, for the loss of Jay. He is only gone from you physically, as his spirit and love are everlasting. Sending strength and prayers to you.
Dearest Lisa, Thank you for such a beautiful heartfelt reflection of your experience carrying Jay’s Moxie stone at Acadia. I am struck by how you described him as spirited , kind and loving. Jay was truly all those things, as well as a prankster! He loved to tease and surprise and throw his head back in laughter! Someday I hope to tell you more about him.
Most of all I am overwhelmed by your description of your experience in the circle when you “were guided by Jay’s spirit” to tell everyone that “Love never dies” and that “Jay is Happy”. Those are things that Jay has told me often since his crossing over. I am overwhelmed with gratitude that you listened to his promptings to share these thoughts with the group. I know that Jay was smiling ear to ear as you spoke his words on the mountain that day:) I have no doubt that Jay chose you to carry his stone and that his spirit was and is with you even now. It sounds like you have a beautiful family and are surrounded by love. Jay was so very loved by his Mom, grandmother, brother and all of his extended family. We are all so very blessed to have him with us for all eternity and we are filled with the blessed assurance that we will one day be reunited with him in the Heavens where there is no more sorrow and no more tears…. Only Love and Joy everlasting!
Thank you from the bottom of our hearts.
Maine Heroes Are Not Forgotten!!
On Saturday, October 1st 2016, I had the honor of carrying the stone and the story of US Army Captain Jay Brainard up Cadillac Mountain as part of The Summit Project at Acadia National Park 2016. As soon as I learned about The Summit Project from my friend Dave Cote earlier this year, I knew it was an organization I wanted to support. We have a strong military presence in my family – my grandfathers, uncles, father, and now cousin have served our country in either the Marine Corps or the Army. Supporting them and all military has always been important to my family, so I was extremely excited to be invited to join TSP and honor a fallen hero at Acadia.
A month before the hike, when we (the hikers) were asked to request the stone we would like to carry up Cadillac, I knew I wanted to find a fallen hero who I had something in common with. I read all of the bios on the TSP website, looking for someone who had lived where I have lived, had studied what I studied, or was interested in what I am interested in. I thought I had found the perfect match, and was disappointed when I was told that his stone was already taken. Dave sent me an email saying that he thought he had the perfect stone for me – that of Captain Jay Brainard. He could not have been more right. The more I learned about Jay, the more I realized how much we have I common. Jay grew up living with Nancy and Whitey, his loving godparents, in Atkinson ME, which is just a few towns over from the lake I spent summers at when I was growing up. Like me, Jay loved living close to nature and exploring the nooks and crannies of Maine’s deep woods. In talking with Nancy, I discovered that Borestone Mountain, the first mountain I hiked as a child, was also the first mountain Jay ever hiked. We both continued to hike Borestone year after year, and I like to think that at some point Jay and I crossed paths up there. I’m sure that every time I climb the mountain from now on and look out onto Barren, Benson, and Onawa Lake, I’ll be able to feel Jay’s presence. I know that every time I drive by Foxcroft Academy, like I have so many times before, I’ll think of Jay and how he was a high school musician, athlete, and honors student – just like me. When I visit the University of Maine at Orono with my friends who are alumni, I will think about how Jay excelled there in his study of Political Science and was ROTC two-time cadet of the year.
Jay has many qualities that I do not have. He was goofy, charming, and loved to make people laugh. He was a prankster and an entertainer. Learning about him has helped me remember to not always take life so seriously – it’s important to have fun, laugh, and spend time with those you love. Jay was an upstanding man. He was honest. He was devoted to this country in a way that I will never come close to matching.
In addition to this being my first hike with The Summit Project, I was asked to be an Assistant Team Leader for team TARN. I had the responsibility of ensuring that our hikers were safe and that our heroes were rightly honored. I was a bit nervous to take on this mission, especially because I had sustained knee injuries in the past and the pain continues to bother me. Hiking with TSP, you carry the weight of your hero’s stone and feel that small burden compared to the enormous burden they undertook for our country. Jay’s stone, found in Germany by his wife Emily, is large and heavy. I worried that it might be too much for me to carry his stone, and the team, up Cadillac. To my surprise, I felt more like Jay was carrying me up the mountain than like I was carrying him. For the first time hiking in years, my knees were pain-free. While I could feel his stone in my pack at all times, I did not feel like a burden. I know that Jay was there with me in spirit, pushing me outside my comfort zone and showing me that I was capable. I continued to feel that he was with me as I reconnected with Whitey and Nancy to eat good food, laugh, and reminisce about Jay throughout the evening. Two weeks post-hike, I continue to think of him often and will surely carry on doing so. He is a hero by definition of the word, and he deserves to be remembered and honored always.
Nancy and Whitey, thank you for allowing me the privilege of carrying Jay’s legacy. I can’t wait to visit your camp, where Jay grew up, and to continue to learn about how special he was to you and to our country.
Always,
Clare Peaslee
Dear family of Army Captain John “Jay” Brainard,
I had the honor of carrying John’s stone to the summit of Streaked Mountain. Reading the story about his life and how you got the stones in his memory was very inspiring to me.
Learning about John was an intriguing life experience. Sadly passing at the age of twenty-six when his AH-64 Apache Helicopter was shot down by enemy fire in Kabul, Afghanistan, made me realize all that our soldiers do for this country. Risking his own life was something brave, and strong, that I, personally, would not be able to do myself. Furthermore, coming from Germany to fight for the United States shows how much impact that our country had on John, and how much he loved this country to volunteer to fight.
Reading about the stories on how you chose the stones were phenomenal. I carried the one up Streaked that his godparents’ chose to put in the memorial. Knowing that John chose the stone himself at eleven years old made a big impact on how I carried the stone. I carried it with care and hoped that carrying it would give me a memory of John, and so that John knows he will always be remembered for his great duties. I hope that he was hiking beside me.
Streaked, is the biggest and toughest mountain I’ve ever climbed. Reflecting on the treacherous journeys that John must have faced, helped me push harder and climb higher. I know that he would have. I hoped that John was behind me, telling me to keep going knowing he would’ve loved the climb. If he was with us, I would want to say thank you to him, for fighting for the safety and the freedom of the United States and its people.
Thank you for giving me this experience to carry the stone of Captain John Brainard and share his story to the summit of Streaked Mountain in Buckfield, Maine.
Best wishes,
Amber
On Saturday January 7, 2017 I was honored to carry the stone and the story of CPT “Jay” Brianard. We started off at the Portland Jetport. The stones of the fallen were assigned to the hikers and then we went to a conference room to learn about our stones. The majority of the group were Boy Scouts and leaders from Troop 310 out of Saco, Maine. The young Boy Scouts were dedicated to learn about the fallen. We walked along the streets to the Stroudwater Baptist Church. Once at the church we had a sharing circle where we addressed the group with what we had learned about the stone and story of the fallen. I was impressed in how well the Boy Scouts of Troop 310 conducted themselves during this journey with the stones. They were eager to tell about their stone and story. After everyone went around the room and shared their stories, a few of the Boy Scouts had more to say about their stones. They addressed the group again and provided more information about what the stone represented. The Boy Scouts truly met the objective of the Summit Project.
I have participated in a few Summit project events. I was at the soft opening at the Military Entrance Processing Station when we opened the Summit Project Room to house the stones and was able to meet the families of the fallen. I signed out CPT Brainard’s stone with my Boy Scout troop in Raymond, Maine to hike Mt. Chocorua a few years ago. I have chosen CPT Brainard’s stone because I have a connection with the family. Jay’s brother in law was in our Boy Scout Troop. I also enjoy hiking and the outdoors like Jay did.
Even though the hike was a short one, it reminded me again the ultimate sacrifice that men and women give to the military. I work at the Military Entrance Processing Station full time and work with the military on a daily basis. I also served in the Army for eight years. So I understand the commitment it takes to join the military. However, it was a gentle reminder that some people’s commitment is forever.
To the family and friends of Captain Jay,
Sat March 11 at the Thomas Memorial Library Tribute Trek I once again had the honor to carry Jay’s stone and story. I had previously carried it at the Run for Our Fallen 2016. I first learned about Jay when I met Nancy and Whitey at TSP at ANP 2014. Since that time I’ve had many opportunities to learn a lot more about him, and the more I learn the more I realize what an amazing young man he was.
Nancy and Whitey, thanks for opening your home and your hearts to me on several occasions over the last 3 years. The tour of your home and grounds, as well as the evolution of the house to make more room, gave me a great sense for the environment Jay grew up in. Simple clean living and close ties to nature. Jay’s old room and the great collection of some of his belongings over the years really painted a great picture for me of his pre service years. And the various “signs” you pointed out were compelling evidence he sends a message once in a while. Any one of them by themselves might be dismissed as coincidence or a stretch, but combined they are powerfully convincing. Every time I see a Griffin or a child’s drawing of what they want to be when they grow up I think of those “signs” in Jay’s room. The conversations we’ve had at various events always bring to light yet another facit of Jay’s life and character. And the bridge dedication last summer was a great tribute to Jay. It was clear from the number of people there, and the words of the guest speakers, that Jay had had a memorable positive impact on their lives. Getting to meet Susan and Aaliyah helped expand the details of my collection of the details of his life from his earlier years to the legacy he left behind.
I hope I did Jay justice when talking about him in the sharing circle at the Tribute Trek. I had 3 stones that day so I had to pick the highlights for each. I have told his story on many an occasion over the last couple years, each time I know a little more about Jay than I knew before and can expand his story. I promise to continue to learn more about him, to tell his story, and to ensure that Captain John R. “Jay” Brainard III is not forgotten.
Regards,
Steve “Buddha” Crossman
MHANF
Thank you so very much Steve for your continued support and devotion to Jays memory and legacy. We are humbled by your dedication toward our beloved fallen. Jay is no doubt smiling his biggest grin by your kind words , and we are heartened to know he is NOT FORGOTTEN!
To Jay’s Family,
On October 9th, 2021, I had the honor of carrying Jay’s stone on the University of Southern Maine’s Husky Vet’s ruck around Portland. The goal of this hike was to honor the fallen veterans of the War in Afghanistan that has recently come to a close in recent months. We each shared the story of the stones of the service members we were carrying in the order they left us. I had prepared to speak about Jay multiple times before actually doing so at the event, and each time it was not easy. Though I never met your son, husband, or godson Jay, it is evident that his memory is indeed still touching the lives of others; I have had the privilege of being one of those people. From what I gathered, Jay was a true outdoorsman, as demonstrated by the stone he picked out from the stream flowing into Moxie Pond when he was 11 years old. The stone, generously donated by his godparents Nancy and Whitey, wonderfully exhibits his outdoorsmanship and love for the state he hailed from. Though his premature departure from this world saddens me, I am glad that his memory is being shared in a way that would have meant a great deal to him.
I would like to thank Nancy and Whitey for donating such a powerful conduit of Jay’s memory. I would also like to extend my condolences to the entire family. However, I would also like to add that Jay is not and will not be forgotten. With a great degree of confidence, I can say that the experience of carrying Jay’s stone will be etched into my memory for the rest of my life. I am also certain that those who have carried him –and will carry him in the future- feel the same. Thank you for allowing us the honor of carrying on his memory in such a powerful way.
Sincerely,
Nate Twombley
Gorham, ME
October 12th, 2021
With 2 weeks notice, I was invited to be on a team for the 1st Lt. James Zimmerman Fitness Challenge. Not knowing what I was fully getting into, but knowing who my teammates were, I was happy to say YES!
Our team carried the American Flag throughout the challenge. Our team also carried two TSP stones, one of which belonged to Army Capt. John R. “Jay” Brainard III. Throughout the challenge, we, as team, shared each of the items, but it wasn’t until the very last evolution, that a teammate handed me Jay’s stone. Jay held my hand and pulled me through the mud crawl to cross the finish line, only to be greeted by Nancy and Whitey!
Despite the rain and cold temps, it was a beautiful day!
MHANF
Thank you so much Susan. It fills our hearts to know that Jays sacrifice is not forgotten! It’s always nice to see you too:)
On 22April, I was one of four athlete friends that joined up to participate in the 1stLT Zimmerman Fitness challenge at the UofME in Orono. While the four of us were experienced TSP hikers, most of us had never participated in an event like this one. So there was a bit of unspoken apprehension leading into it. But I kept reminding myself that it wasn’t about or for me…
During the event itself, the team shared the honor of carrying the stones of Army aviators CPT Kevin D Ouellette and CPT John R. (Jay) Brainard,III.
This was my first time to carry Jay’s stone. Over the past few years, several stories have been shared by his friends and by Nancy and Whitey so I’m glad that this was the right time for it to happen. Through nearly 3 hours of rain, mud and physical challenges, our team of four remained good friends, helping, joking, laughing and smiling as we made our way along the course. While I had Jay’s stone in my ruck, I could feel the weight and the “push” to keep moving to the end. Knowing that the goal was to be out there honoring Jay’s helped us to keep perspective and keep it loose.
I want to thank Nancy and Whitey for being out there in the rain with us for this chance to honor Jay’s memory and sacrifice. Whitey – thanks for helping us hold the flag a few times while we were crawling around on the ground. It was also a real pleasure to be able to talk with both of you that day, and after the event.
SEMPER MEMENTO Russ Shoberg
Dennis and Andrea Swindler
We have been participating in the Summit Project with the patriot Riders since 2014. Last year we had the opportunity to talk with Whitey and we were invited to the bridge dedication ceremony which we attended. This year we were honored to have the privilege to carry your god son Jay’s stone. We choose to carry his stone after reading all about Jay from you both and his wife. We felt as though we have known Jay our whole life. I know you both are very proud of the man he had become. I’m one of the fortunate service man to serve our great country for 20 years. I am very blessed to be here today. I can’t even describe how I felt when I read Jays story but how proud we were in carrying his stone. I was stationed in Germany from 1996 to 1999 and can relate to Jay calling it home. It is a very beautiful country. He may but never forgotten
Reflection of Capt. Jay Brainard
Nancy and Whitey,
Thank you for spending time with me to help me learn about Jay and his life. It was a true honor to get to know Jay and you as his Godparents who supported him through his life and continue to support Jay every day through keeping his memories alive and sharing them with others.
The summit project was a new experience for me this year and one that I will never forget and can only describe it as life changing or improvement experience. Life has a way of presenting blessings and many times they are disguised so that it takes time to understand the significance to these blessings. For me that blessing started last year by meeting Dave Cote and learning about The Summit Project. As I learned more about TSP I wanted to be involved in its mission to keep a living memorial for Maine’s fallen heroes alive and support the families of those heroes that also have sacrificed so much.
As I started the process of picking a name of a fallen soldier for a stone to carry and story to learn, I found this very difficult given the long list of Maine’s Fallen heroes on the TSP website. How do you pick? I found myself trying to find things that I may have in common or familiar names and places that the fallen were from. As you mentioned to me Nancy, Jay picks the person that carries his stone which could not have been more accurate in this situation as the 3 names that I ended up submitting to learn about and to carry their stone did not include Jay.
When I got the email from Dave Cote about carrying the Stone of Capt. Jay Brainard, I was surprised as it was not one of the names that I had submitted or even come across during my search but knew it was a great opportunity to learn about a Maine hero. I also learned Nancy and Whitey would be at the TSP weekend which made it more special to know I could make that connection with the family.
Nancy, I am grateful for you reaching out to me and our time on the phone getting to know more about Jay. I felt very honored and privileged to have you share these special and personal memories of Jay with me. I want to share my notes from our phone conversation because to me it was a true representation of your love for Jay being so easily communicated to someone you had never known and who by the end of the conversation felt so connected to Jay’s life. It may also help others get to know more about Jay.
• Nancy (Nanan) and Whitey White, Live in Atkinson, Maine for 40 yrs, small town of 300 people
• Live off the grid in a cabin built by Whitey and Jay complete with outhouse and outdoor shower.
• Jay born in Waterville, grew up in Newport
• Jay’s younger brother name is Ben (2yrs Younger)
• Jay’s grandmother (Memere) very close
• Nancy’s dad (Pop) was a Marine Veteran
• Jays Pop died at 5yr but very close to him
• Buried next to his Pop (His only request before he died)
• Jay Moved to live with Nancy and Whitey in the 6th grade
• Played Football, baseball, swim team.
• Not great at sports but always stuck with it and never quit anything he started.
• Played Trumpet in band and Jazz
• Captain of Chess Club
• Academic honors
• Loved outdoors and quiet. Riding mountain bikes, driving a car at 11, driving tractor, build forts
• Loved swimming and water, canoeing and hiking
• Loved Hunting and Shooting
• Loved routine and stability
• Very organized
• Very good at school
• Loved fruit and cooking
• Jay was a kind of clumsy and compared to being similar to Clark Kent on the outside but a superman on the inside with love to be of service to people, wanted to help everyone.
• Handshake very important, Whitey taught him to always look someone in the eye and give them a firm handshake any time he met someone.
• Army recruiter at high school had influence on Jay wanting to join the Army
• 2004 Jay graduated high school Foxcroft
• Started at Husson, then to UMO and in the ROTC
• Loved ROTC and excelled
• Graduated top 10% of ROTC, got to pick what he wanted picked between logistics and pilot
• Jay’s wife is Emily, meet at UMO
• Graduated in 2008 in Political Science
• Jay killed on Memorial Day in 2012
• Captain Jay Brainard Gold Star Memorial Bridge dedication
Before our trip down to Baxter State Park for the TSP weekend we were invited by Nancy and Whitey to stop by and visit their home. This was something that I felt was important to do before the hike and take advantage of any opportunity I could to learn about Jay and what better way to go to where he grew up and see the things that Nancy had talked about to me over the phone.
My wife Danielle and I had dropped off our kids in Bar Harbor the night before and headed up to Atkinson to meet Nancy and Whitey at 9:30am before heading down to meet the TSP Convoy at Dysarts. While getting directions from Nancy she asked what kind of car we were driving and told us that it might be a little rough getting down the driveway and they could meet us by the road. This really started painting the picture in my head about the spot where Jay lived. I told Nancy we had a 4wd Toyota and she said we should be ok.
As we turned off the Range road in Atkinson, and headed down Nancy and Whitey’s driveway I couldn’t help but think about the stories I had heard about Jay and how he loved being outdoors. I was imagining how much fun it would have been going down this drive way on a bike with all the downhills and jumps along the way.
Nancy and Whitey came out to meet us and are the type of people you just instantly like and know you are in good company. As we were shown around the property and the house, we were told stories about Jay growing up and his adventures while living there. I love the memory shared of Jay taking his snowmobile up the driveway to the bus stop and getting a car at 11 years old to drive up the driveway to catch the bus when the driveway was drivable. Seeing pictures of Jay’s life growing up there with Nancy and Whitey really connected with what I had been told by Nancy prior to this visit. I loved seeing Jay’s creativity through his board game he invented, school projects he made or the way he rigged the light switch in his room upstairs to be able to turn on the light from down the stairs. His detailed drawings as a kid of “Desert Strike” not Storm! It was very powerful to learn about the connections between home and Jay’s career as an Apache Helicopter Pilot in the 12th Combat Aviation Brigade nicknamed the “Griffins.” How his bike as a kid was an Apache and his snow mobile helmet was the Griffins. All of the memories of Jay shared through pictures, stories or his personal things represented a very happy kid who became a great man through the love and support that he experienced at home with Nancy and Whitey.
As we left Nancy and Whitey’s cabin we drove to the to the bridge that was named and dedicated to Jay after his death, The Captain John “Jay” Brainard Gold Star Memorial Bridge. This was a bridge that Jay would ride his bike across many times and a very beautiful and peaceful place. As I parked along the side of the road and walked to the bridge all I could think was how perfect of a place to be dedicated to Jay. Standing on the bridge and closing my eyes and hearing nothing but singing birds and the sound of the water rippling under the bridge. It was a very peaceful and beautiful place and blessed with Jay’s presence.
We were excited to continue on our journey and meet the patriot riders and convoy at Dysart’s Diner for lunch and continue with the convoy the rest of the trip to Baxter State Park. For a first timer, it was very powerful to see the amount of people there all in support of remembering Maine fallen heroes. It was great to meet so many great people that were all committed to the mission of the summit project and to ensure that Memorial Day weekend was spent bringing recognition to the brave soldiers who had lost their lives in the line of duty and to support their families who continue to suffer with the loss of their loved ones.
The ride to Twin Pines Campground was such an amazing experience to see the community support in the towns that the convoy drove through for the fallen soldiers. Fire trucks, Ambulances and police cars were spread out along the highways with their lights flashing along and many people on overpasses and on the sides of the roads waving and flying flags and honking their horns in a show of support for Maine Heroes.
Arriving at Twin Pines was another incredible experience as we observed the exchanging of the stones from the Patriot Riders to the families of the fallen. As I had learned while talking with Nancy and Whitey earlier that day, Jay had two stones that had been donated and engraved with his name. One Stone was handpicked by Jay when he was a young boy at Moxie Pond one summer. The other was a stone picked by Jay’s wife Emily from Germany where they had been living when he was deployed in Afghanistan. I was given the opportunity to hike with Jay’s Stone that was from Moxie Pond and one of the most unique and beautiful stones I have seen.
As we checked in to the cabins at the campground we found that we were staying with Whitey and Nancy which was so exciting to have more time to learn about Jay and spend more time getting to them. This was not even close to camping as the cabin’s that we were staying in were 3 bedroom beautiful homes. We all quickly unpacked and headed back out for dinner at the lodge. As we ate an amazing dinner it was a great time to meet other members of our hiking team as well as so many people in the TSP family.
The morning of the hike, I was excited but was nervous as well as I felt a great responsibility to not only carry Jay’s stone but his story that I would be telling the members of the hiking team at the top of Owl mountain. I found comfort knowing that a couple of other members of our team had hiked Jay’s stone before and knew him very well. I also knew that if Jay was there he would be all smiles and full of fun and energy. I knew Jay’s spirit was there as I noticed Seth who was another hiker in front of me had a big Griffin on the back of his shirt. It was obvious to me that although maybe some would call that a coincidence that it was a way to connect with Jay. During the hike, it was a great opportunity to get to know the other hikers and their personal stories of getting involved with TSP. The hike was incredible and absolutely the most perfect day we could have ever asked for. We all took the opportunity to share some of these beautiful spots with spirits of those who we were carrying stones for. Once we made the summit and had an opportunity to catch our breath and relax we all shared the stories and memories of the fallen soldier’s whose stone we carried. Everyone did this in their own way without hesitation or expectation. With all of the things I had ran through my mind about wanting to say about Jay during the hike I felt it was best described as “Living the Dream” Jay was truly doing what he loved doing when he died which was flying helicopters and serving his country. He was a Maine hero that will never be forgotten.
Very Sincerely,
Ben Graffius
Wow Ben, thank you so much for your heartfelt reflection of your first TSP experience carrying Jays stone and story. I am overwhelmed by all the things you remembered about Jay and his life out here in the woods of Atkinson. Thank you for sharing so many highlights of Jays youth spent in the Maine woods. It warms our hearts knowing that he is not forgotten and that you will carry his story in your heart, share his memory and tell others of his sacrifice . I truly believe that Jay chose you to carry his Moxie stone. Like Jay, you have a beautiful smile and a big heart. I have no doubt you would have liked one another.
We cannot thank you and Danielle enough for making the extra effort to visit our home and Jays bridge. We truly enjoyed getting to know you both. We hope you will join TSP again to hike another Maine Hero’s stone MHANF! Because of people like you. Gratefully yours, Nancy and Whitey White, aka, Nan-Nan and Uncle Whitey
Dear family of John,
I just finished hiking Table Rock Mountain with campers who all have a parent or sibling currently serving in the military. This is what one child had to say about carrying John
“Having the privilege to carry CPT Brainard’s stone up to the top of Table Rock mountain was very meaningful and reflective. I am proud and thankful of the sacrifice he made for the freedoms we have in this country. Without men and women like CPT Brainard, our country would not be safe. I am sorry for the family’s loss but grateful for all they gave.”
I would like to personally thank you for sharing John and his life with us and others who take part in this amazing program.
Jay’s garden, Jay’s bridge, Jay’s bedroom, Jay’s people…..a perfect weekend in Atkinson and an amazing time. Nan and Whitey, thank you for opening your hearts and arms and home to our crew. We are honored to always carry Jay with us, and we were happy to be able to have his stone with us as we honored him.
To the family of John “Jay” Brainard,
On August 11th a group of hikers, including myself, planned on doing the most amazing overnight hike to witness the Perseid Meteor Shower on top of Borestone Mountain. Well, the weather didn’t want to cooperate and we had to bail out from our plans and head towards clearer weather near the ocean in Steuben. All to hike a trail none of us had even heard of on a much smaller mountain. The weather looked like it was going to hold out so we could see the views we wanted to see and have an overnight adventure.
This is where the plan started going sour for me. Did I really want to drive a total of 4 hours to hike a 317’ hill with people I had not really met, except for another TSP hiker, to “maybe” see a few meteors before it was going to start raining? The answer was a resounding “YES”, but it wasn’t due to any of those reasons. Truth be told: I had Jay’s stone and the Teamwork stone to carry. I have wanted to carry Jay’s stone for a few years since I met Nancy and Whitey, but haven’t had the chance.
I’ll backtrack a little bit. I started hiking with TSP back in 2014 to help cope with a personal loss and I found an amazing “family” of people in everybody I have met through TSP. Giving an ear, a warm embrace, and part of my heart to the Gold Star Families has been very important to the way I have been growing my own family. Seeing the love and kindness of people who have lost a major part of their life is both heartrending and a constant reminder of how we are all similar in some way.
I recently visited Whitey at his home in Atkinson with my family. We were warmly welcomed in on a cold and rainy day. We then received the grand tour of where he and Nancy raised Jay since he came to live with them at the age of 10. To say that we were in awe of “off the grid” living is understated. The hand built log cabin powered by solar panels was amazing, but it was what was inside that has held onto my thoughts since. From the garden in the backyard to the lovingly set up memorial for Jay inside you could tell this was a home filled with the love of their Godson.
Sitting here typing this letter it brings back the feelings of seeing the pictures of Whitey with jet black hair with a much younger Jay in blaze orange after hunting. It warms my heart that I can be part of your life and to be able to lend an ear and my shoulder when you need it. To be able to give back to such a loving family and remember Jay for people like you is why I’ll always drive 4 hours for a short hike.
Back to the hike: I met up with our group in Brewer and followed the caravan to Pigeon Hill in Steuben with Jay’s stone safely packed into my ruck that was riding next to me. Jay liked to push people out of their comfort zone and I love being pushed out of mine, so I think we were evenly matched that evening. I also had the Teamwork stone in my ruck; everyone who knows me knows I love being part of a strong team and everything you do is for them…never yourself. After hearing all of the stories about Jay on his sports teams I knew this was a suitable fit for both of us.
At the bottom of the hill I received a few strange looks when I unloaded the 30 pound sandbag I was going to carry along with the stones (and the hidden 20 pound steel plate I had in my ruck). We made the very short hike to the top and unpacked some gear to get more comfortable. The moon was peeking out and I believe we all saw a few meteors later that evening. I only saw one, but that was all I needed to see. After a few hours I retreated to my hammock and thought about all of you.
As I looked at the sky my mind wandered. I had carried the stone Emily picked out from Germany and thought about her journey with Jay. I thought about Jay’s daughter, Aailyah, and her recent trip to meet the Patriots (very cool) with Nancy, Whitey, and Jay’s grandmother. I thought about the wedding of some dear friends that my wife and I attended with Nancy and Whitey. I was thinking about my TSP “family”. I want you to know that as we all are remembering Jay that we are all forming more bonds with you. He will never be forgotten and you will never be alone.
I’m very happy to finally have had the privilege of being the caretaker of Jay’s stone that night. I think of you all often and await our next visit. I know we all will make many more memories together and Jay is smiling down on us.
With much love in my heart,
~Scott “Skeletor” Stitham
Dearest Scott, Whitey and I are so very grateful to have you, Becky and Sumner as friends and Summit Family. We are so glad you all visited our cabin and saw a glimpse of Jays childhood here in the woods of Atkinson. Jay loved making new friends and was no doubt smiling at seeing you all here with his Uncle Whitey. Carrying Jays Germany stone is no small feat. Adding all the weight that you described shows your deep understanding of the everyday commitment made by our United States military. Jay was no doubt with you pushing and pulling you forward! He was a motivated motivator! We are overwhelmed by your heartfelt letter and so very grateful for your ongoing , loving support and commitment to us and all our TSP family. Because of you Maine Heroes Are Not Forgotten!
Gratefully Yours, Nancy and Whitey, Gold Star Godparents
My name is Kerie Ridlon and I currently reside in Yarmouth, Maine after a recent move from Durham. I am currently attending the University of Southern Maine’s Nursing. On October 14, 2017 I was joyed by the opportunity to join so many caring hikers and thankful Gold Star families for my second summit project event. This time, I had the privileged to hike Captain John Jay Brainard III’s stone to the top of Cadillac Mountain.
Upon attending my first Summit Project in Baxter State Park, I was introduced to Nancy and Whitey White, Jay’s incredible godparents. From that first encounter, Nancy and Whitey started sharing Jay’s life with me. They were so generous and gave me a t-shirt from Jay’s bridge ceremony, in which I went back to my cabin immediately to change into, what an honor! I knew the next summit project I attended, I wanted to carry Jay’s stone, and I was so pleased to learn that I would have the honor of hiking Jay’s stone that he picked himself from Moxie Pond to the top of Cadillac Mountain, where Jay had hiked so many times before.
Nancy shared stories and beautiful pictures of Jay growing up with his family and to his deployment, weeks before the journey to Acadia began. Nancy had so much to share about Jay, so many proud moments of him exerting himself and taking on tasks to do better, as Nancy said, “Jay was not a quitter!”, something that has stuck with me since and something I think about when there are moments when I feel like quitting. Not only did Jay want to gain experience and endurance, but he wanted others to as well. He pushed others to excel, all while encouraging and supporting them along the way.
As I have learned with my sweet four year old, children are sponges, they will mimic the environment and individuals in which they associate with. Learning about Jay and seeing Whitey and Nancy and how kind and caring they are, exemplifies that. He had amazing role models in which to absorb those wonderful qualities from.
This hike in which Jay’s stone was safely nestled in my back pack, allowed me to reflect on the wonderful qualities Jay possessed throughout his life, the love he had for others and the love they will forever have for them. I’ve gained insight on how to carry on Jay’s legacy from carrying his stone, to treat those in your path they way Jay would have with his big contagious smile.
To the Brainard Family,
I carried John’s stone up Black Cap Mountain. My grandfather was in the Army, too.
I learned that John and I both liked to go canoeing, camping and swimming.
From Keagan Age 9
I had the distinct honor of sharing Veteran’s Day weekend with Jay this year. I had planned to hike with a non-hosted event up Blue Hill Mountain, just as a supporter and photographer. However, fate had other plans for me. Our group had the unexpected opportunity to honor more then our usual 10 stones, and during a last minute scramble I was asked to carry Jay’s stone up Blue Hill Mountain on Veteran’s Day as well as in the Veteran’s Day 4 Miler road race in Ellsworth the following day. When asked, I instantly knew it was meant to be. I knew of Jay and his story from other events I had participated in and was honored to be able to spend some time with him!
Our Veteran’s Day weekend here in the Ellsworth / Blue Hill area was a cold and blustery one. We started out early on Veteran’s day under 29 degrees with rather intense wind but our amazing group made the summit as it was our mission and it must be completed. I must say, it was one of the most amazingly heart felt circles. Through the blustery wind and bitter cold we all told the stories of these amazing young men and women, poems were read, obituaries were read, laughs were had, beer was a common topic, and tears, so many tears were shed.
The following day as the challenge for me, I had not run for months, let alone completed a 4 mile race in a year! I was out of shape and sick but NOTHING was going to stand in the way of me carrying that beautiful smooth Moxie stone those 4 miles. Knowing how dedicated Jay was, how he never gave up on anything, and how he loved running,made Sunday’s mission doable. As I ran I held that stone close, most often right up close to my heart, I felt warmth spread over me and my feet felt lighter. I talked to Jay as I ran the Shore Rd, along the beautiful Union River. I told him about how much I wished I loved to run, about my beautiful family, how I wished I could see his home in Germany and meet his beautiful bride who clearly loved him so. I told him of how I had come to know of Nancy and Whitey through the Summit Project and how dedicated they are, how proud they are of their boy. I pictured that beautiful smile of his, I wondered what he would be doing that day had he not given his life for our country, what would his story have been?
It was incredibly hard for me to return Jay’s stone after the race, the connection I felt with him was something that I will never forget. His story of the dates on his stone and the dash in between, will be one I share for years to come.
Nancy and Whitey – thank you for raising such an amazing young man who paid the ultimate sacrifice for our amazing country. Thank you for sharing that beautiful stone from Moxie, to know that his hands touched that stone makes the connection so much more powerful.
Emily – thank you for spending 6 years of your life by Jay’s side and for helping his story live on with the stone from Germany. Your words about Jay and how that stone came to be are powerful and part of the story I will share. I hope to be able to carry the German stone some day as well.
To all of Jay’s family and friends – please know Jay’s story is alive and well thanks to the Summit Project, and I vow to spread that story until I can no longer speak!
I had the honor of carrying the stone from Portland Me to Mt Katardin of the summit ride
It was an honor to have read and learned about about Capt Jay and what he had accomplished I find him to be a roll modal to them who serviced with him. Thank you Capt Jay for your service
Dear Nancy and Whitey:
Thank you for sharing stories about and pictures of Jay. I knew he was special because of the sacrifice he made for all of us, but it was a privilege to understand how he lived and became a heroic young man.
For years I have focused on honoring holidays in the way they were intended. The Summit Project provided the most meaningful way I know to spend Memorial Day. And carrying Jay’s stone certainly is the ultimate meaningful experience. It was an awesome responsibility.
The Memorial Day weekend started with coincidentally meeting up with the convey near the Augusta tolls. I decided to join the convoy. When we got further up north and we went by first responders and others honoring the fallen on the side of the highway and on the overpasses, it really hit me. We were escorting the memories of men and women who served our country and who do not always get the gratitude they deserve. The people in East Millinocket and Millinocket get that and for a short time, those towns stopped to honor real Maine heroes. They came out of their houses, out of work, stopped their cars, flew the American flag and saluted Jay and others.
One of the big things I took away from our discussion the night before the hike was that Jay, from an early age, was making choices to better himself and his situation. A lot of other people do the opposite when faced with adversity. The wristband you gave me serves as a reminder to keep going and making good choices when daily life gets tough.
I had hiked the Owl twice before with no problem. This time the rock scrambles at the top made me really nervous, but there was no question that I would continue up to the summit. It was my obligation and responsibility to honor Jay and I did not take that lightly.
I know your heart is heavy every day, but I want you to know that on the summit of the Owl, it wasn’t just me telling Jay’s story. Three others on Team Red told different parts of his story—things they had learned about Jay over the years. I hope it gives you comfort to know that we will continue to share his story and keep him in our hearts.
Thank you for your kindness. Thank you helping to raise a Maine hero.
I promise you that I will continue to escort the memory of Capt. Jay Brainard.
Sincerely,
Barbara
To the family of CPT Jay Brainard,
I want to start off by saying how much of an honor it was to carry CPT Brainard’s stone up Tumbledown mountain. I climbed with passion because I know he would do the same. I brought my fly rod up with me so I could do some fishing on Tumbledown pond. My goal was not to catch a fish for myself, but to catch a fish for CPT Brainard. I hustled up to the pond so I could get everything set. Once I arrived, the pond was looking absolutely beautiful. I waded out a little ways and found a nice boulder to stand on. I got to fish for about 20 minutes, and just when I was about to continue up to the summit I watched a nice brook trout snag my fly. I set my hook and started hauling it in. It was a nice little 7 inch brook trout. As soon as I brought it in I looked to the sky and smiled. I said, “That ones for you, Captain.” Now whenever I catch a brook trout I will think of CPT Brainard. It wasn’t long after that until we headed up to the summit. The view was incredible. I found a nice spot to sit where I could eat my lunch and take everything in. I got CPT Brainard’s stone out of my pack and sat him next to me. It was almost as if he really was right there next to me, just enjoying the view. After lunch, we all gathered in a circle to tell our soldiers stories. It truly was an honor to be able to share CPT Brainard’s legacy, I will never forget about him. CPT Brainard gave me the strength to keep on pushing when the going got tough. I know he was a motivator, and I could feel his motivation through his stone. I want to thank CPT Brainard’s loved ones and I want to the The Summit Project for giving me this opportunity. I plan on participating in many more, It truly is an honor.
Thank you.
-Beau Briggs
Dear Nancy and Whitey,
It was an honor to carry Jay’s beautiful marbled stone this weekend up to Cadillac Peak with Team Tarn on our fifth anniversary of TSP at ANP; TSP at ANP 2018.
John “Jay” R. Brainard III a was assigned to the 12th Combat Aviation Brigade, Ansbach-Katterbach, Germany and perished May 28, 2012 in Kabul, Afghanistan, of wounds sustained when his AH-64 Apache helicopter was shot down. He paid the ultimate sacrifice for this country and our community, state, and nation are better because he lived. I am grateful to have said his name, learn his story and carry on his legacy.
This year was a true example of a TSP stone finding me. Maybe it was Jay smiling down and laughing a bit, when I thought I had a plan in my head about carrying another stone, for another reason. The truth is that you don’t find the stone, the stone finds you. The highlight of my weekend was presenting you his stone after our team hike, in the middle of the sharing circle, and saying to each of you – THANK YOU for raising such a driven, kind, capable, loving, and intelligent man. Your Jay was a great man, a loving husband, a committed Army officer and pilot, an outdoor enthusiast, a capable athlete, and a true servant leader.
For me, as I learned more about Jay, and reflected back on how I met you, a year to the day after his death, I was both inspired by Jay’s example, sad that we lost him too soon, but encouraged that his legacy lives on in the lives of others. Look how far we have come since the day we met! I think about how Jay would have enjoyed all these hikes and he would have lead from the front. I think about the growth of our relationship over the years and I can appreciate why Jay loved you both so much. Thank you for allowing us to earn the trust of keeping your Jay’s memory alive.
There is no question he continues to live on in the hearts of so many others; people who loved him, those who raised him (you), those who served with him, and those who now learn about him (the TSP family).
It was a privilege to tell the story about the stone that you selected with Jay when he was 11 years old. I shared what his Colonel wrote about his duties as an officer, and the ways he grew from a boy to a man in the woods of Atkinson with Whitey. As you often say, Jay is everywhere and sometimes lets us know that he is with us and present. His work is certainly not over, because he continues to influence and inspire so many others.
Hiking Jay’s stone this weekend gave me clarity, focus, direction and purpose. I was honored to share his life with the members of my team and as I closed my remarks, I read a portion of a post hike reflection letter, written by a 12th grade student from Lake Region High School, who I think said it best. On Nov 23, 2013, Michelle Bender wrote —
“I have chosen his stone because he was assigned to Germany and his wife is still living there. She also sent his stone from woods in Bavaria which is very close to where I live. The more I learned about him, the more I became conscious of my mission I have to do here. I want to share peace in this world and I want to help people. Wars aren’t fair at all and I hope that we can improve international relations to the point, so that one day even the thoughts of the military will be unnecessary. … My hope is that one day, we don’t have wars in this world and we can just live together in peace with everybody.… These people died for their country and I made the decision that I also want to die for something important, something with a purpose.”
It is my hope, that like Michelle, we can all live for, and if necessary, die for something with a purpose. I hope, that like Jay, I am part of something bigger than myself and like Jay did, and continues to do, make the world a better place.
With gratitude, humility, sincerity and respect, thank you Nancy and Whitey for opening your hearts and your home to me so many years ago and remaining lifelong friends in this amazing journey. I thank Jay for the special way he has brought so many people together.
Maine Heroes are NOT Forgotten.
Best,
Dave
David J. Cote
Major USMCR
Founder, TSP
30 September 2018
David, thank you for such a heartfelt reflection of this year’s ANP hike. We are so very grateful that JAY CHOSE YOU this year!! When we look back on these past 5 years, we count so many blessings of friendship and support from you and all our TSP FAMILY. TSP has lifted us up from a darkness too deep to express. We are overwhelmed and so very encouraged at knowing that Jay and all our Fallen Heroes Are NOT FORGOTTEN! As a matter of fact they are still making new friends and impacting people’s lives in positive, uplifting ways! What an Incredible blessing TSP has been to Gold Star Families and those who make the monumental effort to support us while Honoring and Remembering our Heroes. We remain so very grateful that you listened to that still small voice that inspired you to reach out to us that special day 5 years ago on Jay’s 1st angelversary. You are an inspiration and example to all of us to take those first steps in the direction of your dreams , and have Faith that the angels will step in and assist you along the way! We cherish your friendship David and look forward to TSP at BPS in May!!!!!#MHANF!! Because of You!
On November 10 & 11, 2018, I had the privilege and honor to carry the stone and spirit of Army Captain John R “Jay” Brainard III.
Saturday we climbed Blue Hill Mountain. Although a cold and misty day the hike was well within my abilities. Blue Hill Mountain is a place I have often used to collect my thoughts or clear my head. This was a perfect place to reflect on a man who loved the outdoors. I thought about how Jay pushed and encouraged his wife Emily up the Knife Edge of Katahadin. I also thought about how Jay always strived to do things well, from simple hand shake introductions to the amazing success of his military career.
He had flown Apache Helicopters. What an amazing achievement for such a young man. But I was reminded that Jay believed an officer needs to remain humble. I wished I could shake his hand in thanks.
On the way down the mountain the event coordinator reminded me that Jay was known for being a prankster. I was told, I would find out. I usually pay no attention to such warnings.
Sunday we had a 4 mile run in Ellsworth. I do not particularly like to run. I fully expected to be walking part if not most of the course. However, Jay liked to run. He was with me encouraging and pushing me. Jay’s stone fit well in my hands and against my body as we ran. I was very thankful for this. His never quit attitude kept me running. Not fast, BUT running.
After about 2-1/2 miles, I was doing alright. I was even feeling a little cocky and began to lengthen my stride a bit. It was then that the prankster chose to remind me to be humble. I tripped and fell, yet there was nothing to have tripped me. This must have looked like some comedic fall (think Chevy Chase, Dick van Dyke or Steve Martin). I could not really believe I fell and had no idea why. I was concerned for Jay’s stone as we hit the ground. I gave Jay and myself a quick inspection, there were no major injuries. So it was back to running.
Jay was back to encouraging me. He pushed me to finish the 4 miles running. NO WALKING.
At the finish I was asked about my bloody knuckles. I had to laugh, I never noticed my knuckles and I would have liked to forget about my fall. But now I had a story, a story of a comedic prankster, a story of not quitting, a story of success in light of a set-back. (BTW my ego sustained more injury than my body).
Again, I felt sorrow for never being able to shake Jay’s hand.
It is a week later as I write this letter. My skinned knuckles do not let me forget my time with Jay. I am grateful for all Jay has taught me. I will remember him always.
Sincerely,
Chris Lanigan
Ellsworth, Maine
MHANF
Dear Nancy and Whitey,
It was a true honor and a privilege to Carry captain John “Jay” Brainard‘s memorial stone on December 8th. As I competed in the Millinocket marathon and half marathon. I did not run the full marathon. I ran in the half marathon. Which I completed in three hours and six minutes, which was 32 minutes faster than my time last year. As I entered this race I did have some hesitation due to a couple of injuries that I have occurred. But I had made A commitment to you to The Summit Project and all of our fallen heroes and especially Captain Jay. There wasn’t anything that was going to stop me from holding his stone and carrying him across the finish line. On numerous occasions I almost threw in the towel and gave up. Then all of a sudden something came over me, like Jay was pushing, me telling me you can do this, we can do this and we did. In the last moments about 500 feet before the finish line my right leg gave out. As I stared at the finish line, knowing that I needed to cross it in his honor. I saw numerous TSP family members at the finish line waiting for me, cheering me on. So I picked myself up and Jay and I cross the finish line. I don’t think I would’ve been able to finish this year or even competed if I wouldn’t have had the spirit and the encouragement, not only from everybody that was there but mostly from you and Jay. Again it was a true honor and privilege to Carry Jay’s Stone and become part of your family. Thank you very much from the bottom of my heart and for raising a TRUE American HERO.
Sincerely,
Shawn Boutaugh
It was another fantastic weekend with TSP honoring our fallen and paying tribute to them and their families. This one was extra special for me. I have made a lot of friends who now are considered my TSP family but none more than Whitey and Nancy White. I carried the story and stone of Capt. John R. Jay Brainard III this Memorial Day weekend. The weekend that Jay was killed. May 28th 2012. I have had the privilege of visiting Whitey and Nancy at their homestead in Atkinson on a couple of occasions. During those visits I was able to learn what a special man Jay was. All the struggles and victories he experienced, his relationships with his brother, wife and with those closest to him. Jay was a determined and accomplished soldier who achieved more than most at his age.
At 26 years old Jay lost his life doing what he enjoyed most. Flying his Apache helicopter and defending our freedom. Words can not define the gratitude I felt while learning about Jay and having it hit home like it did on our hike. I feel as though I knew Jay although I’d never met him. This is possible because of the living memorial that is seen in the daily lives of Whitey and Nancy. Jay’s room, as it was when he left Atkinson. All the collections of toys, art, mementos, awards, Jays bridge and of course the stories and Jays memorial garden.
Our hike began in a light mist. It had been pouring rain all night. We arrived at the trailhead and began our six mile trek. I felt as though Jay was with me. Knowing that hiking was one of his favorite things to do in these Maine woods. I saw Jay in the nature all around me. The toad on the trail, the new plush green that was everywhere. The woods were vibrant and alive all around. Jay will never again be able to experience these things so many take for granted. Jays beautiful memorial stone did not weigh me down. It rather lifted me up and gave me more strength to push forward. It is now up to me and others to keep his memory alive and experience these things with men like Jay in mind. We must always remember that freedom is not free. That this beautiful country we live in is only possible because of people like Jay, Whitey, Nancy and others who have given so much to make it all possible. I will be forever grateful to Jay for doing his selfless part in keeping us all free. God bless Jay and his sacrifice. May peace and love be in the lives of Nancy and Whitey for many days to come. My gratitude runs deep. MHANF
Hi my name is Bryce Fall I am in Nokomis jrotc and I had the privilege and honor of carrying John R. Brainard’s stone during the summit project. We climbed Tumbledown mountain on June 5, 2019 it was fun to carry john’s stone to the top of the mountain along with the other cadets that carried there stones. I thought of John and how he was a true Mainer and loved the outdoors such as hunting and fishing. As we made it to the peak we stopped at the pond on the mountain and talked about his and the other fallen maine soldiers life’s and the great memories they made with there friends and loved ones. I thought of John I thought of the great sacrifice he made for his country.
Tuesday July 30th, 2019 myself along with several other members of my unit carried stones for The Summit Project. We hiked as a group over roughly 8 miles to complete the loop trail of Gulf Hagas. Throughout the hike we stopped to present our stones, sharing the story of the hero we had been given. I had the privilege of walking with Capt. Brainard by my side. Carrying his stone was a humble reminder of the fallen heroes who fought to keep our nation safe. I felt deeply honored to carry Capt. Brainard, and grateful for the opportunity to have passed on his memory to my peers. I can say, without any doubt or uncertainty that Capt. John (Jay) Brainard III memory will live on in the hearts and minds of us all that he continues to reach.
Respectfully,
Brent Andrews, Jr.
Dearest Nancy and Whitey,
I write this to you from a boat launch near Black Point Beach in Scarborough Maine, Black Point Inn is in view on the other side of the bay. It’s a secluded place to which I have never been. When I left my house today, dressed in Jay’s army green shirt, I left with Jay on my mind and Jay in charge of our destination. I think he chose well. This spot is very secluded (only one small sign pointing the way), quiet and overlooks a currently peaceful ocean. It’s slightly breezy on this crisp fall morning but the ocean is still. The few boats in the harbor appear motionless, as do the seagulls in the distance.
The salty air brings me back to our hike together, Jay and I, just two days ago in Acadia. The winds were not so calm then! I read that we had 50-60mph wind gusts that day, and I believe it. What a ride that was! As you probably know, I was a team lead on that hike, a first for me. When asked if I would lead the team my head said “me?!” but my words spoken were “I would be honored.” Because like Jay, I am a helper and I will always help where I am needed. Normally my head would be filled with worry and self- doubt, but it wasn’t on Saturday. It wasn’t, and I think I have Jay to thank for providing me with his leadership skills and helping me to find my own confidence. We had responsibility and purpose and we were going to make it this day success. And we did. I have many people to thank for that, and Jay is one of them.
The circle ceremony took place near the summit of Acadia; just off to the side of the US Geological Survey Marker. It was so windy that the American flag that Robert Martel carried for us the entire journey flapped, snapped and waved above us throughout the whole ceremony. It was quite beautiful. I shared how Jay loved his solitude and his home, his cabin in the woods with Aunt Nanan and Uncle Whitey. I shared how Jay wasn’t the best at sports, but he continued to play anyway; swimming, football, baseball. “I am not a quitter,” and on he played.
I shared how he excelled in school and was an honor roll student throughout his years in high school and into college at University of Maine. How he discovered the ROTC program and found his niche. I shared that he was top 10% in the nation of all ROTC cadets and he chose aviation in the Army because he wanted to fly Black Hawk helicopters. But the Army chose him; not to fly Black Hawks but to fly the Apache, the top military attack helicopter in the Army. What an honor.
I shared how we lost Jay, at the age of 26, while he was on the final leg of his mission, just hours from his home base. Shared how he was flying his Apache through enemy territory in Afghanistan and that the two preceding Black Hawks were allowed safe flight overhead, but the Apache was taken down. There were no survivors.
I shared how much he is loved and cherished by you. I shared your kindness and compassion. I shared how when you and I talked on the phone, Nancy, that we talked for over an hour and it felt like we could have continued for hours more.
Thank you both for sharing Jay and his story with me. It was truly an honor to carry his story and his stone this weekend in Acadia. I will continue to carry Jay with me and share his story. I look forward to driving to Atkinson to see the Captain John “Jay” Brainard Gold Star Memorial Bridge.
In gratitude,
Andrea
In early September my boyfriend asked me if I was going to do the 9/11 Hero’s Run in Bangor. I hadn’t heard anything about the event but quickly went on line and registered. My second task was to reach out and see if there was ANY way I could carry a Summit Project stone in the event. Joelle informed me that she had Jay’s Germany stone with her and that I was welcome to him for the event. I had carried Jay’s Moxie stone in 2017 for a Veteran’s Day 4 mile road race and had been wanting the opportunity to get my hands on the German stone so this was perfect! I met up with Joelle the Saturday before my event and took possession of the heavy but beautiful stone. The fun began the minute I started my car after placing him in my passenger seat so he could keep me company, when I fired up the car the Star Spangled came on …. as we headed off to do my errands I was cut off in traffic and had to slam on my breaks, the Summit Project patch that rides proudly on my dash went sliding and landed right on the stone. I knew Jay was with me and all I could do was smile.
Sunday morning I got up and made the decision to Ruck the event instead of run, I knew a couple of folks who had planned to do this so I packed some extra weight in my bag and headed to the waterfront for my first ever Ruck. Can I just say what an amazing experience this was? We had a group of about 24 people ranging in ages from about 10 to over 50 and we worked as a team to complete the 5k caring our weighted packs AND a whole lot of other heavy stuff (think large tire, log, kettle bells, sand bags) so that we could all feel the weight as we honored our fallen heroes. I shared Jay’s story with anyone who would listen, I had a young boy ask if he could carry Jay for a while and he did so with so much pride it made my heart happy. I had a young woman ask as many questions as she could and even had her mother record me talking about Jay and the project so that she could do a project on it for school. The whole event was amazing, the ruck was hard, the people were friendly, and Jay kept me going the entire time!
My time with Jay didn’t end after the race like often it does, I had the opportunity to keep him with me until I was to turn him over at the Honor Case ribbon cutting and 9/11 Ceremony at the Elks Lodge in Ellsworth on 9/11. I had three work days to take the stone to work. He proudly sat on my desk and everyone that came in to see me for insurance was told his story and about the Summit Project. My children kept close tabs on the stone, I would see them tough the lettering as they walked by the kitchen table or the couch where he stayed, they asked a lot of questions about Jay, his service, his death, his family, and what the Summit Project is On 9/11 his stone was touched by many in my office, his service and sacrifice was celebrated. As the work day came to an end I gathered up the stone and headed to the ceremony. I held the stone in my lap through the ceremony, to my heart as the National Anthem was sung, and my tears landed on the cool surface as we listened to the emotional ceremony honoring those so gave their lives on 9/11. Once the ceremony was over and the honor case ribbon was cut I made my way over to Nancy and Whitey to reunite them with their boy. They welcomed me with open arms and shared pictures and stories of Jay.
It was incredibly hard to leave the Elks Club that evening without that stone. The stone is heavy, awkward, jagged, rough, but for me it was soothing and cathartic. I knew Emily had worked hard in Germany to find a stone to honor Jay and all that he was, and it is truly perfect. It was a challenge to carry that stone but a pleasure to have Jay by my side for 5 days. His presence is felt daily in my life, his story will be told to any and all who will listen.
Dear Jay,
Wow what a whirlwind type of weekend for the Kadahdin hike. Wow we drove up from the Portland area to Millinocket the Friday before the hike. The weather was great, and then I got a message from your aunt and uncle inviting us to come over to their house before we went to the place we were staying. This would be my second time there, god I love that place. It recharges my old batteries. So while your Aunt Nancy was giving Andrea, and her daughter, a tour of the house, I go to set outside for a while and chat with your Uncle Whitey. When I grow up I want to be just like Whitey. The place you grew up is so beautiful. It’s the way life should be.
So after our tour and talk the three of us loaded up and went on over to Millinocket to get ready for the next day. Wow 3:30 am really comes early. We are packed up and on our way to the mountain…………. Is that rain I see hitting the windshield? Yes, yes it is.
Well the “Dirty Dozen” arrives on site and has started to get ready to move out. There is a slight drizzle but not bad, could we be lucky and not get rain. Nope we all stop and get our rain gear on within a mile of the trailhead. It doesn’t come off for the rest of the day. Thank you “Jay” for gearing up with me today for the hike. I would lean on you many more times today. You very well could have saved my life today.
As we got closer to Chimney Pond, I could tell that something wasn’t right, but you kept checking on me and motivating me to keep going. We took a 30 minutes break when we got to the pond. It was nice to stop for a bit and let everything settle down. But we did do about 20 videos for Greg, but those were cool even though we gave him a hard time about them. By this point we all were soaked through and cold and muddy. Hence the name “Dirty Dozen.”
It was shortly after Chimney Pond that things really started go sideways. This is where you really stepped up your game. You saw that there was something really going wrong with me now, you reached out to “Red” who was hiking with me. She turned around and looked at me then went and got Greg and Justin. We were about a mile from the “Slide” when they got back to us. It was not long after they got there when Greg made the call to send me back down the mountain. I know that it was the right thing to do, even if I didn’t want to go back down. “Red” stepped in and made sure that your stone made it to the summit, while Greg made sure that the flag I got for your aunt and uncle did the same and made it to the summit.
Later that night the Dirty Dozen got back together at a local restaurant. Boy were we surprised when we walked in and Nancy and Whitey, and a lot of the other Gold star family members, were there to welcome everyone back. The 8 that made it to the top were very cold and tired. But I think everyone’s smiles warmed them right up.
I know that the TSP family made sure that the mission was complete, but you made sure that I made it off that mountain. You are my hero Jay. But let me tell you this Jay. You and I are going to summit Katahdin next year. I promise that the Moxie stone and I will have a photo op at the summit. Thank you for being you. “You will never be Forgotten”
On Saturday, October 5, 2019, I loaded up my car at 3:15am and headed for Millinocket. My hiking pack was weighted down with everything I would need, or so I thought. That morning it was cold and dark. There were no stars in the sky and no light on the horizon that early. Despite the cold I was ready to climb Katahdin for a second time in as many years, and I was thrilled to be climbing with the stone of Army Captain John “Jay” Brainard in my pack. We arrived right on time and took our place in line at the Gate. Because we had prepared and secured a parking pass we were let through without delay and made our way to Roaring Brook to park. My small team of three had hiked to Baxter Peak the year before and we looked forward to the same spectacular views and sense of accomplishment again this year. Our climb up the mountainside was picturesque and we reveled in the foliage and bright blue sky. As we made our way up we encountered multiple other groups who all remarked what a gorgeous day it was to hike. At one point we heard a loud crack and we all stopped and searched eagerly out through the woods. One of the hikers in our party saw the moose as he trotted off into the trees. We heard from other hikers that a second moose was also spotted in that area and a large bull was seen swimming across the Basin. What a spectacular sight that must have been! (I, sadly, missed all three sightings.) As we went up the trail we started to see the snow everyone had been talking about for a week! First just little pockets and then bigger areas. One bridge was covered and the woods began to look a bit more like Christmas than Halloween! Still, not enough to hold us back. Making good time we were thrilled to reach the Chimney Pond rest area early on in the morning versus last year when it was much closer to midday. We stopped to eat and take in the views. Making our way over to Chimney Pond there was a noticeable difference in the air. It was brutally cold and windy and we noted that there was a large group gathered at the Ranger Station.
We moved in closer and heard from the Ranger that several parties had already turned back in their quest for the summit. It was reported there was half a foot of snow on the tableland and expected temperatures of 5 degrees with the windchill. The Ranger advised that hikers were discouraged from advancing to the summit without proper footwear, to include ice spikes, and warm layers. Having hiked last year with no weather to take into account we knew what was up ahead and we grew concerned. Many of the hikers in the group that had gathered chose to turn back. Some went on ahead on Saddle Trail. (Few took Cathedral although there were some courageous souls who did!) After discussing amongst ourselves our small team opted to head back down. We were unprepared for the conditions cited by the Ranger and were not willing to take the risks. As we made our way back down we were able to indulge a bit with the speed and stop at some overlooks we had missed on the way up. I stopped and took a few videos and lots of photos to share with the 150-Mile TSP Memorial Ruck Fundraiser Katahdin Team that would be climbing the next weekend. It was truly beautiful, and I felt so blessed to be amongst some of the most amazing views in all of Maine. We hit the trailhead in the daylight after 8 hours on the Mountain, and we were delighted to not have to make the three hour drive home in darkness. Over all it was an amazing day. I carried Jay’s stone to Chimney Pond. We shared the day and the experience with some amazing people, and I came off the mountain feeling successful and at peace with my choice despite the fact that we didn’t summit.
I have thought a lot about what Jay would have done that day. I know he would have advanced to the Summit despite the conditions. He would have been up there where only Eagles dare to fly; in his element and loving it. And, had I been hiking alone, I may have advanced as well. But, I was with a team. I believe Jay would have taken into account the safety and well being of his team before his own desires and he would have guided them back down the mountain. I was not conflicted in making my decision on the Mountain, but I did feel some sadness when I learned from other hikers that did summit that day, and saw from their photos, that the conditions did not appear to match that which was predicted by the Ranger. I have to believe that there was a reason we were not meant to summit that day. Something we could not have known about or otherwise predicted. Heeding the Ranger’s warning, whether it ended up accurate or not, was the right choice, and I know that in my heart. My intent is to take Jay, tackle the majestic Mountain again next year and get us to Baxter Peak together! We have unfinished business and I will accept any reason to take Jay and go back again! Thank you Nancy for allowing me to wear your dogtag. I wore it between my layers with the cross necklace I was gifted when my son was born. Together I knew God and Jay would make sure I made it safely up and back – however far we made it up the Mountain. It was truly my honor to carry Jay’s stone and tell his story on that day. #MHANF
I was enormously honored to join a 12 man team to ascend Mt. Katahdin on the final day of a 150 mile ruck that Greg Johnson was completing. I was even more honored to carry with me the stones of three sons, Maine men who lost their life serving our country and ensuring our freedoms and way of life. I initially wrote three very distinct reflection letters. But once completed, I realized that we were all together on this hike and it was really a shared experience. So I went back shared much of the content of the letters across the three.
My journey did not start with Jays stone. I was carrying the stones of two other men. Jay would be with us on the trip, but carried by Scott. Now I’m not gonna lie, I was a little disappointed when Scott asked for Jays stone before I spoke up. But it also seemed like the right thing. I was happy that Scott would carry Jays stone, I knew it would mean a lot to him. We’d just spent time with Nancy & Whitey at the house, talking about Jays life together, so it seemed right. And I was more than thrilled to be carrying Andrews stone. Then it came to be that I’d carry Josh Barrons stone as well. All was well. The boys would all be there whether they were with me or not.
I’ve come to consider Scott my big brother. In all the good ways and some of the bad- which are also good. I don’t tiptoe around him, nor does he around me. So when it became obvious that Scott’s struggle up the mountain was more than a physical strain, I spoke up. Scott was honest with me- he was having trouble breathing, but he was going to summit anyway. I humored him while I quietly assessed his situation. I wanted Scott to summit. I wanted it as badly as he did. He’d argue that point, but I stand behind it. After a good long rest at chimney pond, I was hopeful and optimistic that it was just what Scott needed. A little rest. Hope and optimism wasn’t enough. Scott’s drive and hardheadedness was not enough. There came a point I knew Scott wasn’t going to make it. I felt he’d want Jays stone to make it to the summit, and I knew I’d offer to take him the final stretch. But it was too soon to discuss. Scott was still planning to summit.
I moved ahead thinking like a mom, he needs to come to this realization on his own. After awhile, I felt compelled to move back and check on Scott. And I was more than concerned. This wasn’t about Scott’s physical ability, and it wasn’t about his drive or dedication, there was something that just wasn’t right. We had a short conversation about turning back. I got his agreement that he would listen to our team medic and he’d let him make the final call. What Scott calls my ‘hold my beer moment’ was my internal debate of whether to go “tell” on Scott, or to stay with him through his struggle. All within the course of probably 3 seconds that I stared into Scott’s eyes, were the feelings of frustration at my inability to talk sense into him, anger at his unwillingness to shed some weight, acceptance that I’d need some help with this situation, relief that he at least agreed to let Justin make the call and he WOULD do what he told him to, and uncertainty of how pissed off Scott would actually be at me for “telling” on him. But Scott is family, so I knew none of that really mattered. Proof of that point was after Greg, Justin and Scott had their little pow wow, Greg returned with Jays stone and handed it to me. Scott and I never spoke about it, but we both knew. That was a moment I’ll never forget. I went and said my good bye to a very annoyed Scott. I knew he was probably more mad at himself than anyone else. But I still felt bad about my hand in it.
I set down my pack and opened it. Jays stone could have fit easily right on top of everything. But that wasn’t how it should be. Due the bulky weight, Andrews stone needed to be very specifically placed in my pack. I decided early on that Andrew and Josh would be together in my pack, they shared the nice padded carrying bag. Now Jay was about to join the gang. If I didn’t feel like the mom driving a minivan with all the boys in back before, I certainly did now. Despite the feelings of disappointment and sadness of losing Scott, a small smile touched my lips. The boys were together.
Although it brought a smile to my face knowing they were on this field trip together, the weight of their loss never escaped me, even when I removed my pack. I thought of the Moms especially. Their boys weren’t just away on this adventure with me, their boys would never to return home. And I thought about grief, and about healing. I thought about myself carrying this weight, not just for this hike, but for a lifetime. I’ll never forget this particular field trip. Where the boys were in back having a good old time, while I’m in the front taking us on the journey, not hearing their words, but enjoying their laughter.
That feeling of escorting a group of foolish boys around stuck with me. I felt excluded from their fun. But entertained by it. Now and again the weight of the pack would shift unexpectedly as I scrambled up and around the boulders. It’s like when the kids in the back seat get together and all shift their weight going around a corner and the car takes a startling heave to one side. Not dangerous, but shocking, and the kids think it’s hysterical. Brats. There we many small moments like that. I had to remove my pack once and lift it up over rocks before I could climb it myself. That was the moment I actually ‘pulled the car over’.
And at some point on the hike they tired me out. I still had that love and gratitude that they were with me, and I wouldn’t have traded it for the world, but my energy level was running low. The boys became a different kind of weight. They were that heavy dead weight of a sleeping child. Now it makes sense, like the end of any long trip, the boys were zonked out, asleep in back. Whenever I stopped to rest, I slid the pack smoothly down to the ground, as if not to disturb them. And when it was time to move on, I asked for help. Instead of heaving the pack up with a big plop on my back, I gently lifted the bag up to the nearest person and asked them to hold it while I slipped it back on. I remember taking note of the gentleness I had with my pack, it being odd, and I attributed it to exhaustion. I realize now, looking back, I was being easy with the sleeping boys.
As I’ve reflected on this hike, many things have come together – as they often do. I know now it was Jay that summoned me to go back and check on Scott. I spent that day in the moment, so I didn’t take many pictures. But when looking back at one picture, it was one of those “ah-ha” moments where yet another thing came together. I was at the summit and wanted a picture with myself and the three boys. I tried and tried to get one standing next to the sign. I realized that trying to hold all three stones wasn’t going to happen, I didn’t want to drop anyone. They were more than an armful – as three boys would be. So I sat down in front of the sign and put them on my lap. They were SO fidgety, it was like they had a mind of their own. As soon as I got two situated and tried for the third, the other two would move. I was having a difficult time and feeling a bit exasperated at to WHY I couldn’t complete this seemingly very simple task. All the while I had people waiting on me. I think it was Greg that said: “put that one on top!” And so I did, and just like that, they settled. They were still. And secure. And just like any mom trying to get a picture with three wiggly kids, when they finally held still, I didn’t dare move a muscle. The pictures were taken and I gathered up the boys and moved on. When I saw the picture after the hike, goosebumps arose. Just look how the stones fit together.
I started this letter just a few days after the hike, and it’s taken me two full weeks to complete it. It’s amazing as I look back on that day how more and more things still come to light. It was an amazing adventure with fantastic people that I consider family. We came together and brought these boys to the top as a team. We all carried each other that day.
To the Family of Army Capt. John R. “Jay” Brainard III,
As I sit here and reflect on my time with Jay, I am in awe at how much of an impact this young man has had on my life. I had the honor and privilege of carrying Jay’s stone for two days, the first day was a beautiful hike up Blue Hill Mountain, and the following day for the 4-mile Veteran’s Remembrance run/walk in Ellsworth. My journey with Jay began a while before this though. I was initially drawn to Jay during another TSP event when I first saw his stone, for some reason I kept going back to it, the stone is utterly beautiful. I later found out that Jay handpicked that stone as a child, how special to hold the same stone!
A couple of weeks after seeing Jay’s stone in Acadia I decided to try and figure out why I felt so drawn to him. I spent some time doing research trying to see if somehow, we may have crossed paths… nothing. Other than being close in age, growing up in Maine, and our love for hiking I did not see anywhere we would have met. Fast forward a couple more weeks and Joelle sent out the stone assignments for the Blue Hill hike and guess what, I was with Jay and I was lucky enough to carry his stone for two events, not just one!! I was thrilled to have the opportunity to connect with Jay and really learn about the life he lived. I was blessed to have phone call with Jay’s Godmother/Aunt, Nancy, who raised him from when he was a young boy.
Nancy was gracious and shared so many memories of Jay and who he was as a boy, a teenager, and a young man. But the one thing that sticks with me the most is when Nancy told me I had gained a friend for life. You see, this connection I have with Jay, I can’t explain it in a letter, but I will live with it forever, knowing that for some reason his amazing spirit also connected with me. This is who Jay was though, nothing new for him to be the first one to smile and say hello! Jay was known for his solid handshake, brilliant smile, and his practical jokes (my broken shoe being one of them)! He worked hard and overcame his struggles in life to become the best at everything he tried, he never quit, this road lead him to become a Captain in the Army where he honorably made the ultimate sacrifice for our country.
I don’t know why Jay chose me to not only share his story but also become a part it, I will be forever grateful, and I hope to see more jokes come my way! I will continue to learn about Jay I hope to see the cabin he grew up in and treasured so dearly, and hike some of his favorite trails. Thank you, Nancy for sharing. Jay will never be forgotten. I will treasure this new friendship and hold it close to my heart.
Sincerely,
Jennifer Brown
Nancy and Whitey,
I had the privilege of carrying Jay’s stone up Black Mountain in August 2020. I was able to tell Jay’s story through the stories you shared with me when I visited the cabin.
I know what kind of person Jay was because of how proud he makes you, Whitey, and how he brings this big smile to your face, Nancy, whenever you talk about him. We should all aspire to have a positive and lasting impact on those around us like Jay has had.
Love to you both,
Barbara
It was my honor to carry Jay’s stone on 11/15/20 on our hike up Bald Pate Mountain. In learning what I had about Jay I couldn’t help but notice that we shared much in common. We had both served in Germany as Attack Helicopter pilots and many of the things that Jay enjoyed doing are interests of mine as well. I could not help but realize how closely our lives mirrored one another.
The experience of carrying Jay’s stone was profound. I am happy that we are taking the time to remember Jay and all our heroes. We are all so lucky in our daily lives to have the Freedom and Opportunities that we all enjoy. All too often it is easily taken for granted. I endeavor not to. Our Freedoms come at a price. It is cliche to say, “all gave some and some gave all” but you get a whole new appreciation for that when you put a real face to it.
I honor/thank CPT John “Jay” Brainard” for these Freedoms we all hold dear.
My words are small and inadequate but my debt of Gratitude is limitless.
On 17 May I hiked up the brook trail of Tumbledown Mountain with the Nokomis JROTC. I had the honor of carrying Jay’s stone to the top. It was a beautiful morning and as we reached the summit and were remembering our fallen soldiers the sun shined bright on us, it was really a surreal opportunity to be able to carry the stone and honor our fallen soldiers. I am really glad that we do this as a JROTC and it’s something that I hope we keep doing for years to come. From what I learned Jay was a good guy and the one thing about his legacy that stuck out to me the most was how humble and friendly he was always able to stay.
Nancy and Whitey,
I had the privilege of carrying Jay’s stone for The Summit Project hike on 9/25/2021. The day was gloomy and rainy but as we set off on our hike the rain stopped. And as we shared stories of our fallen soldiers, the clouds parted a bit letting a little sunlight through.
Knowing that Jay made the ultimate sacrifice for his country is truly humbling. It was an honor to carry his stone and share his story. You raised a hero.
To Nancy, Whitey and Jay’s family:
My name is Justin Cloukey and I had the honor to carry the stone and story of Jay at Baxter State Park on Memorial Day 2022. During my research of Jay, I came across a few similarities. We attended UMaine at the same time! I graduated in 2006, him in 2008. While I don’t recall meeting Jay on campus, my roommate was in the ROTC program and likely knew him personally. We both graduated magna cum laude; this is no easy task so I appreciate Jay’s dedication to schooling, details and work ethic.
I was team lead and in true Jay fashion, pushed myself and my teammates out of the comfort zone. We hiked the Owl Trail with an early start on a beautiful May day in Maine. The sun was shining, the team was (mostly) wide-eyed and mission ready. We understood the importance of our task. The initial trail was kind, clear with a gradual incline. Being the first team out, we encountered a few extra obstacles, mainly in the form of down trees and debris in the trail. I took it upon myself to trailblaze, ensuring my and other teams’ ability to move forward. I felt Jay lift a few trees with me as they were lighter than anticipated.
I have taken part in many TSP events; one of my favorite aspects is the camaraderie that builds during the day. The van ride headed to the gate was relatively quiet, which may have been from a questionable night’s sleep not wanting to miss the alarm clock. The first mile there was small talk about the weather but then we crossed a small stream. Hands, rocks and hiking poles were being shared for everyone to make it across. A couple laughs were shared and the stage was set. There were more than birds chirping at this point; the team began to open up and share stories about not only themselves but also their servicemember. The number, length and depth of conversations grew throughout the day.
The summit ceremony is always emotionally intense. I spoke of Jay, our connections, his leadership and my appreciation for him professionally and personally. We had 3 Gold Star Family members on our team, 2 of which carrying their family member for the first time. I enjoyed our view but enjoyed learning about others more. The descent was uneventful but the highlight of my day was spending time with Nancy and Whitey after our ceremony. I got to learn Jay from their eyes; his relationships, his love of the outdoors, his ability to stand out while being “a kid that came from the woods of Maine…completely off the grid” as Whitey repeated. They were also kind and generous enough to give me a t-shirt in memory of Jay, which is now part of my workout wardrobe. I’m sure he appreciates my choice.
Given his enjoyment of Katahdin, I’m sure we have hiked the same paths figuratively and literally. Physical activity is extremely important to me for a variety of reasons, but my time in Baxter is always extra special. A place to be free; disconnected from the world but connected to Earth. Being a true son of Maine. Enjoying life as a kid in the Maine woods…completely off the grid…just like Jay.
On September 9, 2022, the leadership team for the Veterans Benefits Administration at Togus held an offsite workshop. As part of the workshop, the Summit Project let us each have a stone to walk Portland’s eastern promenade. I was honored to have Cpt Jay Brainard’s stone. Reading about Cpt. Brainard’s story I was struck by how many similarities I share with Jay. I too love the Maine outdoors and many of the same places. I also loved the Army as a child, which led me to join and serve 6-years as a Satcom operator. As a Veteran who serves Veterans, getting to walk with my peers carrying Jay’s stone felt like affirmation of my mission now, which is to fulfill President Lincoln’s promise “To care for him who shall have borne the battle, and for his widow, and his orphan.” Often, the day-to-day tasks of helping to lead programs for Veterans benefits means doing tasks that don’t necessarily directly impact Veterans and instead clears the path for those who do get to do the hands-on work. Carrying Jay’s stone along the eastern prom felt like a tangible act of service. It was truly an honor to carry the stone to help keep Cpt. Brainard’s memory alive and honor his sacrifice. I cannot thank you enough for the opportunity.
Hello my name is Brady Kirk and I had the Honor and Privilege of carrying the Stone and Story of Army Captain John “Jay” Brainard lll. I just want to thank Nancy and Whitey for taking time out of their day and talking with me and I can’t wait to make a date that I can come up to their house and see Jay’s room and his lifestyle before the military.
When I went on the hike and I felt like my energy was going down I just got a sudden burst of energy to finish the hike and I knew Jay was there pushing me to the top. When we did the Warrior circle I loved sharing his story. When I handed off the stone to Whitey I felt honored to carry on Jay’s name and I’ll never forget him or this experience.
Not really sure where to start with this one.
So here I go, first I would like to say, Nancy & Whitey I love you guys so much and was so honored to carry Jay’s stone and story with me at ANP this year. We may not have had the sit down meeting that I love to have with my Gold Star family before the big day to spread the stories of their fallen. I can not wait till Jen, Brady and I, maybe Willy get to come up to your homestead and learn everything and hear all about him. You guys will always have a spot in my heart. You have my word that I will make sure he will never be forgotten.
To the family of Army CPT. John R. Brainard
My name is MacKenzie Branscombe, a freshman at Katahdin Middle High School and I was appreciative to be able to honor your loved one John Brainard. I am a proud family member of Spc. Dustin J. Harris.
I learned about John when I was about 6 years old and I met his half-sister, Amanda. I told Amanda what I had learned about my Uncle Dustin, and she told me about John. After we lost Amanda’s son Gabriel in 2020, it finally hit me, what his name really represented to our family. He was named after our uncle Jay as we called him. When I first met Amanda, she told me more and more about Uncle Jay. All the stories I’ve heard and articles I’ve read I feel so much closer to him, although I never got to meet him I still feel his presence and I know he’s watching over me. I often find myself thinking about him and what an impact his stories have had on my life, he has taught me so much throughout my time learning about him. I still wish that I could’ve met him because I can only imagine what he would’ve taught me. I spend alot of time thinking that he wasn’t really gone and that I’d meet him soon.
Although each individual heals differently, my way of healing is learning about how amazing both of my Army uncles were.
I was beyond honored to carry Cpt. John R. Brainard’s stone and I hope to be lucky enough to continue learning about him and hearing stories about how amazing he was.
Sincerely, MacKenzie Branscombe
Nancy and Whitey, it was so special meeting both of you and being able to sit down at the Warriors Dinner together to talk about Jay. As Team Blue sat on top of Doubletop Mountain for our circle ceremony, it was noted that one thing all these heroes had in common was how incredible these men and women were in their everyday lives. Jay was truly one of the good ones.
I really enjoyed listening as you told me how Jay pioneered the ROTC programs at his school after seeing that void needing to be filled, and how proud he was to be seen on campus in uniform leading the way for others to show the same type of pride. You painted a perfect picture for me depicting the man Jay was and what he stood for.
I see Memorial Day in a whole new light not just after participating in my first BSP event but after carrying Jay’s stone and listening to you. I’ve seen just how lost this special day is on so many people. It was an honor and a privilege to carry Jay with me, and I will continue to carry his story. In my mind, there’s no other way to spend Memorial Day weekend going forward than honoring our fallen heroes with TSP. I thank you both for your courage and willingness to share these narratives with people like me; it is truly impactful and has changed my life in a way that allows me to give back and honor the sacrifices that are made. I hope to reconnect with you again soon. God bless.
Dear Ms. Emily Brainard,
I had the utmost honor of carrying your beloved fallen late husband Army Captain John R. ‘Jay’ Brainard III’s Summit Project (TSP) memory stone in my 20.8 lb. backpack for The Summit Project “Ruck for the Fallen 2024” race on Saturday, August 10th at Pineland Farms in New Gloucester, ME. In fact, it doubled the original weight of my pack. I picked up Jay’s stone on the day of the race and there were only 20 stones remaining from the TSP collection for volunteers to carry in the ruck race when I went up to obtain one. I asked specifically for the biggest and largest stone available, and it just so happened to be Jay’s stone that you had graciously contributed. They gave me Jay’s story on a printed sheet to read prior to the race and when I finally got to read your story of him in its entirety I was totally impressed with his dedication and honorable character and can do spirit to wanting always to serve the USA and defend our precious freedoms and liberty at an early age in the explicit uniform of the United States Army as a ‘bled only green’ fearless fighter pilot in Apache helicopters.
As you know, TSP provides living memorial and remembrance stone tribute of fallen Maine soldiers who were tragically killed in honorable and courageous active duty for our Nation Post-9/11 so that the details of their military service and life stories will never be ever forgotten. I thank you so much for kindly contributing this second stone of Jay’s to the TSP collection from his “last home with his cherished bride” in Bavaria, Germany and you found it on a running trail. I hope this shared YouTube video can help you reminisce about a once happy day (e.g., April 1, 2012) when you went skydiving together with Jay just before he was deployed April 30th as an AH-64D Longbow Apache helicopter pilot to a combat mission in Afghanistan:
https://youtu.be/X0iPnIjYhKE
Psalm 34:18 (NASB) says: “The Lord is close to the broken hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” I know you were saddened, devastated, and heart broken when you suffered the loss of Jay. You say the sport of personal running has helped you and brought you some relaxation, comfort and peace of mind. I will try to learn more of the “Wear Blue: Run to Remember” organization that you founded that uses running to honor the memory of Jay. That was my main objective participating in The Summit Project “Ruck for the Fallen 2024” race. Let it be known to you that different volunteers from all walks in life will continue for generations to come to carry your TSP honor stone and reflect upon Jay’s life story and spread the knowledge of his ultimate sacrifice for our great Nation to their circle of family members, friends, and acquaintances. The other honor stone of Jay’s in the TSP collection was the one from his maternal aunt and uncle, Nancy and Donald White.
Jay had a brilliant mind, so he advanced quickly with hard work to be high in the ranks to Army Captain. He was one of the very few and proud that was able to advance successfully from flight school at Fort Rucker, Alabama with special knowledge and skills to fly the complex and hazardous helicopter. Jay showed early signs he desired to have a long Army career in the service by majoring in Political Science and minoring in Military Science at the University of Maine Orono (UMO). He graduated with magna cum laude honors from UMO on May 9, 2008. He also graduated previously in 2004 with honors from Foxcroft Academy secondary school. He was very active doing high school sports like football and he was talented playing jazz on a trumpet.
Jay had a Purple Heart for valor service when he was killed by the enemy on Monday, May 28, 2012 (Memorial Day) when the AH-64D Longbow Apache helicopter he was piloting went down and crashed while he was doing combat operations in Wardak province, just west of Kabul, Afghanistan in Operation Enduring Freedom fights. On Saturday, June 2, 2012, the day he was buried; the Maine Governor Paul R. Lepage ordered all flags in the entire State to be flown half-staff in his memory. He had countless other honors bestowed upon him. There are some Memorials named after your late husband Jay that were established to honor him who fought bravely for our Nation in Afghanistan and never returned home alive. There is Brainard Hall at Ansbach Army Lodging facility in Ansbach, Germany:
https://army.dodlodging.net/propertys/Ansbach-Lodging
On July 30, 2016, Jay had a bridge in Atkinson, ME named after him spanning the Piscataquis River called the Captain John “Jay “Brainard Gold Star Bridge. Local newspaper writer Bill Sawtell wrote, “It will be fitting to think of Capt. Brainard when we pass over the bridge and remember the ultimate sacrifice that he gave each of us so that we could live in peace.”
TSP “Ruck for the Fallen 2024” event Chairperson Greg Johnson warned me months in advance if I wanted to participate in the race then I needed to practice and train well in advance. I got busy with church activities on a daily basis and found myself one day with no training and just 13 days away from the ruck race event. I know that sometimes you have to make your decisions according to your values. I grew up also knowing that you do not disappoint people when you make a commitment to them. Like Jay I am never a quitter, and I never fail to be successful for others that depend on me to take action. What must I do now? Even though I hadn’t trained or actually ran in a road or trail race for over 55 years, I forced myself beyond my comfort zone to find an outdoor track and run/walk alone several hours every single 13 night (soaking rain or dry) in the dark starting around 8:25 pm. Many nights I ran/walked beyond the 10K measured distance and thought I had built up my stamina enough to perform at least at an acceptable level in the upcoming ruck race. However, I found out later I was wrong about this, and I actually needed at least 5 months of training to build up my endurance. Perhaps I may have done better if I had practiced also carrying some type of weights on my back.
I want to thank your late husband Army Captain John R. ‘Jay’ Brainard III for the ultimate courageous and heroic sacrifice of his life for us and our Country that ensured all Americans have National security, prosperity, human rights, and our precious freedoms. I thought by my ruck race participation I could show in my own way and deeds that I am seriously very thankful for Jay’s and other soldiers’ military service and ultimate sacrifices. I also set out to thank the Maine surviving hero veterans for serving. I just wanted to show my actions in addition to my spoken word’s thanks.
The “Ruck for the Fallen 2024” 10K race and 20-stage obstacle course was a skillfully designed race by TSP Leaders and other volunteers where I heard all the quiet voices of pain, patriotism, hope, and heroism. I had no expectations because I never participated in a TSP ruck race before and feared I would get lost in the woods and off trail if I did not keep up to a jogging stride of some front runners. I started off jogging a short distance in the 10K race and immediately had a complete attitude change. In the first place, I had not properly hydrated my body for several hours before I started the race, and I was laboring to get to the first water bottle station. In the second place, the route was not built a 10K speed racing track to run in at all for the course. The 10K course they and TSP volunteers constructed was a 6.2-mile-long marked hallowed sanctuary trail lined completely with small American flags and posted marked stations displaying the life stories of all the Maine fallen soldiers for which we were rucking memorial stones. Groups of 4 or 5 people did stop at these stations (including myself at one) and pay respect and honor to a fallen hero soldier. How can anyone think of even running the whole course of this race? Out of respect for the fallen hero soldiers and the American flags I quickly made the decision, I was going to just hike this entire peaceful trail alone in the woods. The trail was muddy and very hilly, so I quickly dirtied my brand-new jogging shoes (never worn before) and I easily became out of breath between water stations. The heavy backpack slowed me down to a crawl. On the last mile of the race some kind runner offered to carry the stone contents of my 21 lb. backpack, but I refused because I wanted the starting weight of my ruck to equal exactly the ending weight at the 10K end. I also wore a heavy sweatshirt to pad my weak shoulders and back, but the weather was very hot and humid on that race day. Some of the runners yelled at me several times to take that foolish sweatshirt off but I refused to take it off because it added to feeling the discomfort that Jay may have felt on the hot weather battlefield piloting an Apache helicopter and fighting in Afghanistan. Along the early portion of the race, I met and talked with the 83-year-old woman who won a medal for finishing as the oldest person in the ruck race carrying her esteemed hero stone. She had a tall staff, and she maintained a speedy hiking pace digging hard in the dirt path as she walked. I could tell she had done this ruck race before. She said that she really loved hiking the trails. I said I enjoyed hiking like Jay also and mentioned my long summer hike once from Connecticut to Lake Sebago, Maine as a Boy Scout. Everyone jogged or hiked past me on the trail, and I passed no single person which really troubled me. I was struggling hard to do the ruck race and I humored myself for added strength. I was not wholly serious when I told the joggers passing me to tell the ruck race director “To leave the lights on” until I finished the race.
I very much appreciated having vocal encouragement from Kristen of TSP when I completed the 10K race portion. This meant a lot to me because she was the sole voice around at the 10K race end that sparked me to jump right in to try and tackle the 20-stage obstacle course in my weakened and worn-out condition. A few people during the obstacle course doubted I could complete the challenging obstacles. Some volunteers were very nice and encouraged me to rest in the shade that I briefly did for about 15 minutes while downing some electrolyte drinks. Others said I should sit in the muddy pool water to cool off, which was the last thing I wanted to do twice (one time doing exercises as part of the obstacle and the additional time just cooling off). But I did indeed finally complete the 20 obstacles and ran through the finish line to place 102 of the 200 total race participants. Yes, I live to never disappoint, to be fearless, and to never take the easy way like Jay. I was pleased to have received at the finish line a surprise ribboned commemorative medallion just signifying I had completed successfully the entire race/obstacle challenge event for my memory’s sake.
I find myself filled with gratitude -not only for participating in the race but having the privilege of carrying Jay’s TSP memorial stone. Thank you, Emily. I am very sorry it has taken so long getting this letter out to you, but I am a busy doer for the church. Saint Therese of Lisieux summarizes my feelings about my zeal for participation in The Summit Project’s “Ruck for the Fallen 2024” race carrying Jay’s stone by saying, “Jesus does not look so much at the greatness of our actions or even at their difficulty, as at the love with which we do them.”
Respectfully yours,
James V. Falk
Gorham, ME
jafalk007@gmail.com
Dear Mr. and Mrs. White,
I want to thank you for giving me opportunity to carry the stone and story of Army CPT John R “Jay” Brainard III. I didn’t not have the opportunity to meet you both before the annual ANP hike, but I do hope that I get the opportunity to meet you soon.
In the weeks leading up to the hike I enjoyed learning about Jay. I could tell that we shared a lot in common, one being his love for running. I was inspired by him and his drive to succeed.
Pulling into Smugglers Den you could see the big white tent that was beautifully Decorated on the inside with all the heroes pictures. The first thing I did when I entered was found Jays picture of him standing next to his helicopter. It was a reminder of the important of this day and why we were all here.
The weather was perfect for hiking that day. It was cloudy at the beginning but as soon as we reached the summit the clouds lifted and there was nothing but blue skies and a clear view of the ocean below the mountains. From what I had learned, Jay would have loved it up there that day.
It was such a privilege to share his story with my fellow hikers. He really accomplished so much in his life and you both must have been so proud of him. I look forward to carrying Jays stone again. I promise to never let his memory be forgotten.
Thank you
Kristen Olsen